Why Calm Feels Wrong in Relationships

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Summary

In this episode of Relationship Revolutions, Alan Watts explores the paradox of why calmness in relationships can feel unsettling while chaos feels familiar.

He delves into the wiring of our nervous systems, explaining how past experiences shape our perceptions of safety and connection Alan offers practical strategies for rewiring our responses to create healthier relationship dynamics, emphasising the importance of awareness and gradual exposure to new patterns.

Takeaways

Calm feels wrong because it was once unknown.

Your nervous system is wired for survival, affecting love.

Chaos can feel like home due to past experiences.

Awareness is the first step to changing automatic behaviours.

Micro exposure helps in adjusting to new relationship dynamics.

Regulating responses in the moment is crucial for safety.

Calmness can deepen attraction when familiar.

Self-protection is different from self-sabotage.

Creating new evidence of safety is essential for growth.

Box breathing can help manage anxiety in relationships.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding the Chaos in Relationships

02:01 The Wiring of Our Nervous System

04:05 Rewiring for Safety and Connection