Why ‘Calm Down’ Backfires & What to Say Instead During Meltdowns
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Why ‘Calm Down’ Backfires & What to Say Instead During Meltdowns
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In this episode of Toddler Toolkit, we explore the difference between control language and connection language when dealing with toddler meltdowns.
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!
Learn why phrases like 'calm down' and 'stop crying' often backfire, and discover 12 effective swaps to help support your child's emotional regulation. We also discuss the importance of intention and body language in parenting.
Plus, hear about the upcoming Happy Family Online Conference in October 2025 and get tips on how to navigate meltdowns even when you're burned out.
00:00 Introduction: From Control to Connection
01:35 Understanding Control Language
02:44 The Importance of Connection Language
04:42 12 Helpful Swaps from Control to Connection
10:18 Real-Life Examples and Final Thoughts
12:25 Upcoming Events and Conclusion
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Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!
Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.
- Grab the The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
- Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
- Join the Toddler Mom Community
- Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
- Watch the YouTube channel
- Check out the blog