When stress makes a home in the body

"Your body is wise. It is simply protecting you the best way it knows how." If you've ever felt stuck, disconnected, or so tired that even rest doesn't help, this episode speaks directly to you. In this episode of This is How We Heal, we explore the freeze response, a state where your body goes still and you numb out to cope, even though life feels far away, despite still showing up for work and family. How unprocessed stress doesn't just disappear but takes up residence in the body Why it eventually manifests as chronic illness and persistent symptoms How to move from surviving to thriving What is the Freeze Response? The freeze response isn't weakness or failure. It's completely biological and designed for survival. Based on polyvagal theory by Dr Stephen Porges, freeze is your nervous system's emergency state, where you move from the persistent stress of fight-or-flight into dissociation and numbness as the ultimate coping strategy. We also learn to put ourselves into this state through alcohol, sugar, binge eating, binge watching, and endless scrolling. Each of these are socially acceptable forms of dissociation that help us avoid feeling what we're experiencing in the moment. It's not a choice but an automatic nervous system response when we've been in fight-or-flight for too long. Freeze vs. Shutdown: Understanding the Difference While related, these states aren't identical. In freeze, you're still holding energy. The system is tense, sensors alert, but breath is shallow. In shutdown, the system has given up mobilising altogether. Energy collapses, posture slumps, voice flattens, facial expressions fade. Freeze is holding your breath; shutdown is sinking to the ocean floor. What Triggers the Freeze Response? It doesn't always require dramatic trauma. Yes, violent incidents or accidents can trigger it instantly, but so can growing up in an unsafe home, working in an environment where you're constantly bracing for criticism, being in a relationship where you're walking on eggshells, or living with an illness you can't get answers for. When your nervous system feels trapped with no way out, freeze becomes the default. How Freeze Shows Up in Your Body Physical symptoms include feeling heavy, slow, and sluggish, trouble making decisions, forgetting simple things, cold hands and feet, muscles that tense but never release, sluggish bowels, and loss of appetite. Mental and emotional symptoms manifest as flatness, depression, watching life happen from a distance, disconnection from your body and senses, and losing motivation for activities you once enjoyed. Over time, chronic freeze can contribute to conditions like chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, autoimmune flares, hormonal imbalances, irregular cycles, PMS, low libido, migraines, frequent infections, and chronic inflammation. The Hidden Cost of Living Frozen Unprocessed stress doesn't vanish. It sits hidden under this "frozen wet blanket" in your muscles, fascia, immune system, and hormones. That trapped survival energy eventually becomes the chronic conditions we wonder about: inflammation, blood sugar dysregulation, sluggish digestion, adrenal burnout. Your body isn't broken; it's doing what it was designed to do, just for far longer than nature intended. We're meant to move through freeze into regulation, not make it a permanent home. How to Thaw Out: Reconnecting Gently Start with Simple Sensory Awareness Notice the fabric on your skin, your temperature, the feeling of your feet on the ground. Scan your muscles from head to toe. Are they tense or soft? This sensory awareness helps move from dissociated freeze into present awareness. Use Rhythm to Soothe Gentle rocking side to side or back and forth, breathing in for four counts and out for four counts, placing your hand on your heart while repeating "I am safe, I'm safe to reconnect, I'm safe to reengage." Orient to Here and Now Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This brings you back into your body through the senses. Gentle Movement Wiggle your fingers and toes, stand and stretch, take a slow walk. Movement helps you become embodied again. Creating Safety Through Vagus Nerve Stimulation The vagus nerve connects your gut and brain, and stimulating it creates feelings of safety. Simple practices include gargling water (the vagus nerve sits behind your throat), chanting, humming, singing, and breathing exercises. Co-regulation with calm people or pets helps tremendously. When no one is around, use reassuring self-talk that validates your feelings while offering support: "I feel scared and I'm supported" "I feel lost and I have a plan" "I feel lonely and I'm in good hands" Holistic Support for Nervous System Healing Nourishment: Warm soups and broths, gentle movement like restorative yoga or nature walks Herbs: Lemon balm, chamomile, lavender...