When You Can’t Moderate Anymore: A Conversation About Binge Drinking & Becoming Free with Colleen

In this episode of Mindful Sobriety: The Podcast, Jane is welcomes back a beloved returning guest, Colleen Clifford—binge-drinking survivor, commercial fisherwoman, and alcohol-free & health coach.Jane and Colleen recorded their first conversation almost exactly a year ago, and since then Jane has reached 1,000 days alcohol-free and Colleen has continued to build a beautiful, full life in her 60s—anchored in sobriety, service, and deep connection.Together they dive into the realities of binge drinking, the terror and science of blackouts, the language we use around suicide, and the courage it takes to ask for help. Colleen shares about her late husband’s death by suicide, her ongoing healing, and how her upcoming book Life Beyond Binge Drinking is part love letter, part wake-up call for anyone caught in the binge cycle. They also talk about Bali retreats, horses, inner child joy, and why life can actually feel more vibrant, playful, and hopeful without alcohol.In This Episode, We Explore:A podcast & sobriety milestoneJane celebrates 1,000 days alcohol-free on the summer solsticeHow growth and self-discovery keep unfolding well beyond the first sober yearColleen’s story: from binge drinking to “life beyond”Her 40-year relationship with alcohol and why she calls herself a “binge drinking survivor”The moment she woke up after driving home drunk with one eye closed—and knew something had to changeWhy the 2% of the time she couldn’t moderate kept her stuck for yearsBlackouts & the brainWhat actually happens in the brain during a blackoutWhy those memories truly are not recoverableHow blackouts fuel denial, shame, and confusion for drinkers and loved onesTalking honestly about suicide & alcoholWhy Colleen uses the language “died by suicide” instead of “committed suicide”How binge drinking can push someone over the edge, especially with underlying mental health strugglesThe compassion of seeing suicide as a tragic outcome of illness, not a moral failingAsking for help when you’re the “strong one”Colleen’s struggle with independence, pride, and the belief that she had to do everything aloneHow hard it can be to receive support when you’re used to being the helperReframing asking for help as an act of courage and a compliment to the people you trustLife at 62: full-hearted, alcohol-free, and evolvingWhy Colleen is genuinely excited about agingRedefining success beyond income: impact, connection, and legacy moments people “never forget”Volunteering with hippotherapy, horses, and the healing power of animal connectionInner child joy & alcohol-free livingHow sobriety reopens space for play, creativity, and natureBali retreat memories, laughing in the water, flowers, animals, and letting the inner child leadGiving yourself permission to be a beginner again and follow what lights you upPractical hope for anyone stuck in a binge cycleThe shame spiral of “I know better, so why can’t I stop?”Gentle first steps: lurking in online groups, turning camera off in meetings, or simply listeningHow coaches, communities, and peer support can help you untangle your “ball of yarn” and take one tiny step forwardResources Mentioned988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) – Call or text 988 for 24/7 confidential support if you or someone you love is in emotional distress or thinking about suicide.Women for Sobriety – A free, women-centered recovery community and meeting platform.Recovery communities & support options (examples you can link):Recovery DharmaSMART RecoveryAlcoholics Anonymous (AA)Al-Anon (for loved ones of those struggling with addiction)Online alcohol-free communities – Facebook groups and online forums where you can start by simply reading and noticing what resonates.Connect with ColleenEmail: [e-mail]: purepotential.healthInstagram: @purepotentialhealthLinkedIn: Search “Pure Potential Health – Colleen Clifford”Connect with Jane & Mindful SobrietyInstagram: @janeballardwellnessPodcast: Mindful Sobriety: The Podcast (wherever you listen)Website: www.janewballard.com If You’re Struggling Right NowIf binge drinking, grief, or any kind of binge behavior is weighing on you, you are not alone—and there is real hope. Your first step doesn’t have to be perfect or public. It might be:Listening quietly to an online meetingCreeping in a Facebook group and reading others’ storiesSending a short email to a coach or therapistTelling one trusted person, “I think I need some help”Tiny steps count.Enjoying the Podcast?If this conversation resonated with you, it would mean so much if you would:Follow / Subscribe to Mindful Sobriety: The PodcastRate & review the show on your favorite podcast platformShare this episode with a friend who might need a little hope todayYour support truly helps this message reach more people who are quietly struggling and reminds them that a beautiful, alcohol-free life is absolutely possible. 💛