When Parents Push Too Hard: Robbie Turnbull on Pressure, Confidence & Supporting Young Athletes

In this raw and vulnerable episode, I chat with Robbie Turnbull, a decorated Aussie Rules player and the founder of Top Tier Footballer. Robbie opens up about the unintentional but profound pressure he faced from his father on the sidelines, and how this experience created a fear of making mistakes that followed him throughout his life. This conversation is an essential listen for every parent, coach, and athlete. Robbie shares how he eventually learned to shift his mindset from playing for external approval to playing for himself.

Key topics:

• The Crippling Effects of Sideline Pressure: Robbie's personal story of how his father's passionate but harsh feedback created a fear of mistakes and impacted his confidence.
• A "Car Ride Home" Warning: The lasting psychological damage of being berated by parents after a game and why a supportive car ride is crucial for an athlete's well-being.
• Beyond the Best Player: Why a fixation on reaching the elite level can cause athletes to give up on a fulfilling career at the state or community level.
• Identity Beyond Sport: The importance of building an identity outside of your sport to prepare for life after competition.
• The Power of Simplicity: Why having a simple trigger word like "See ball, get ball" can be a powerful tool for resetting your mindset and playing with instinct.
• Coaching in the Women's Space: Robbie shares why coaching female athletes is so rewarding, highlighting their eagerness to learn and grow compared to the egos often found in men's sports.
• Systemic Issues in Women's Sport: The need for better facilities, turf management, and smart scheduling to support the growth in women's games.

Key Takeaways:

• Your parents are your number one coach. The environment your parents create can either build or cripple your confidence, with a lasting impact on your life both on and off the field.
• Detachment is crucial for growth. Learning to detach your self-worth from your athletic achievements allows you to embrace mistakes as part of the journey
• Trust and belief are non-negotiable. As a coach, instilling care and belief in your athletes is the most important factor in helping them grow
• Coaching is about simplicity. The best coaches are concise communicators who don't overload athletes with information

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Intro: Robbie's journey
• 02:59 The impact of a competitive upbringing
• 04:35 Lessons from a footy career
• 07:30 The shift in his father's mindset
• 09:20 The power of an ally in calling out behavior
• 10:37 Playing for his dad vs. playing for himself
• 12:23 How pressure followed him into adulthood
• 15:19 Addressing negative sideline behavior
• 16:36 Behaviors that help athletes thrive
• 19:39 Unique pressures young women face in sport
• 21:17 The core message he would give his own child
• 22:28 Advice for his 16-year-old self
• 24:10 Robbie's coaching philosophy
• 26:55 Systemic issues in women's sport
• 30:41 How men can promote women's sport
• 34:59 A final message to parents and coaches

Find Robbie's programs, merch, and content on Instagram and TikTok at @thetoptierfootballer. Check out The Top Tier Footballer: Footy Sports Journal and use the code 4TG for a 25% discount on any purchase!

Follow the 4TG movement over on Instagram @4TG_podcast and join the conversation! If this episode hit home, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and leave a five-star review. Don't forget to check out our previous episodes with Fi Sanford on perfectionism and Danny Kennedy on mindset.

This episode was proudly produced by The 32 Collective. Come say hi on Instagram @the32collective_.