When “Fine” Keeps Us Stuck: A Reflection on My Dad, Masking, and Adapting ep 558

“I’m Fine”: What My Dad Taught Me About Resisting Help

On August 14th, my dad passed away. In the weeks since, I’ve been reflecting on his life, his humor, his resilience — and his signature phrase: “I’m fine.”

He said it when he was hooked up to machines in the hospital. He said it when he was on the roof cleaning gutters, even though his balance was shot. And most of the time, he wasn’t fine at all.

In this episode, I share some of the lessons I learned from my dad about adapting — and about the cost of resisting it. From the adult trike he never would have bought for himself, to the senior living community he resisted but came to love, my dad’s story is a mirror for the ways we all struggle with change, masking, and accepting support.

I also talk about my own journey: being diagnosed with ADHD at 19, and more recently, with autism — a diagnosis that really came into focus during a season of burnout. Like my dad, I’ve had to learn that determination isn’t enough. Saying “I’m fine” isn’t enough. What matters is adapting — and allowing ourselves to receive help when we need it.

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I’m fine” when you’re not, this one’s for you.

In This Episode

• The phrase my dad used that wasn’t always true — “I’m fine.”

• How his resistance to adapting shaped my understanding of masking.

• The trike that gave him joy he wouldn’t have chosen for himself.

• Why moving into a senior living community became one of the best decisions he never wanted to make.

• What his struggles taught me about ADHD, autism, burnout, and learning to adapt.

Resources & Links

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