When Betrayal Reshapes How You See Yourself (Season 1: Episode #7)

When Betrayal Reshapes How You See Yourself Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Episode Summary

In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most painful and often hidden impacts of betrayal: how it reshapes the way you see yourself. After discovering sexual betrayal, many individuals experience a surge of negative self-beliefs — I’m not enough… something must be wrong with me… I should have known… I’m unlovable. Dr. Skinner describes this internal narrative as a “virus” that embeds itself in a person’s belief system, making it difficult to see oneself accurately or compassionately.

MaryAnn explains how, developmentally, our brains are wired to seek approval, interpret social cues, and continually scan for safety. When betrayal shatters the foundation of a relationship, these systems go into overdrive, amplifying old insecurities, childhood patterns, and even generational messages about worth. Together, Kevin and MaryAnn highlight that while these negative cognitions feel overpowering, they are understandable responses to trauma — not reflections of your true value.

Listeners are reminded of a crucial truth: your worth has never changed. Negative self-talk may be loud, but it is not accurate. Healing involves challenging distorted beliefs, surrounding yourself with trustworthy voices, and engaging in therapeutic tools that help reframe your internal narrative. The hosts discuss powerful interventions such as attachment-focused EMDR, cognitive reframing, and guided support from safe attachment figures. This episode offers clarity, validation, and hope for anyone struggling to reclaim their sense of identity after betrayal.

Resources Books & Foundational Concepts

• Brené Brown – Daring Greatly, The Gifts of Imperfection (shame, worthiness, identity)

• Mark Wolynn – It Didn’t Start With You (generational trauma and inherited beliefs)

• Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score (trauma stored in the body)

• Francine Shapiro – EMDR framework and negative cognitions model

Tools & Therapeutic Modalities

• Attachment-Focused EMDR

• Cognitive reframing and restructuring

• Identifying core negative beliefs (“I’m not enough,” “I’m unlovable”)

• Inner narrative awareness: If I could hear your thoughts 24/7…

• Using secure attachment figures (past or present) for grounding

Human Intimacy Programs

• Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal https://www.humanintimacy.com/rise

• Human Intimacy Podcast episodes related to identity, shame, and worth

• Reclaim and trauma-focused intensives with Dr. Kevin Skinner