What to Do When You’re Not Being Heard in Your Relationship (Without Yelling)

Takeaways

• If you feel unheard, move from casual comments to clear, calm, eye-to-eye communication.
• Use a simple tool to confirm understanding: ask your partner to repeat back what they heard.
• Avoid the escalation trap—yelling or manipulation may ‘work,’ but it costs connection.
• Discern the issue: negotiable irritation vs. moral/ethical boundary vs. safety concern.
• Sometimes love means: “I don’t like this, but I love you—and I can live with it” (when it’s healthy to do so).

Dr. Mark A. Hicks explores what to do when you’re not being heard in a relationship—especially in marriage or long-term partnership. He emphasizes that being unheard doesn’t always mean a relationship is broken; often life is busy and communication gets lost. The solution starts with intentional timing and calm clarity: sit down, make eye contact, and name the problem without blame. He recommends using reflective listening—asking your partner to repeat back the idea of what you said—to confirm the message landed.

If the issue persists, Dr. Hicks warns against a common temptation: escalating volume or using manipulation. While it can create short-term compliance, it typically leads to resentment and shutdown. Finally, he encourages discernment: some issues are non-negotiable (safety, moral or ethical boundaries), but many frustrations are not worth damaging the relationship over. Healthy relationships don’t have to be perfect—they need to be healthy, connected, and grounded in love.

Key Topics Covered:

• Feeling unheard in marriage and romantic partnerships
• Clear, calm communication vs. casual comments
• Timing, attention, and “eye-to-eye” conversations
• Reflective listening: repeating back what was heard
• The escalation trap: yelling, wrath, and manipulation
• Choosing battles: letting go vs. drawing boundaries
• Core personality traits and realistic expectations
• When counseling or therapy may be needed
• Healthy relationships: imperfect but emotionally safe and thriving

Dr. Mark A. Hicks, author of the book 'Learning Love,' provides tangible, real-life insights on how to build healthy, happy, thriving relationships, even if you come from a dysfunctional family background, have been through a divorce, or struggled with relationships in the past. Love isn't about fate. Love is a skill set, and this is the place to learn that skill set as we spend some time learning love.

Order "Learning Love: Building a Life that Matters and Healthy Relationships that Last": https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/learning-love-mark-a-hicks/1146412363?ean=9781636985954

Visit Dr. Mark A. Hicks online: https://www.markahicks.com/