What 4 Countries Taught One Expat Spouse About Identity and Home: Rika Bouffe

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For Rika Bouffe, Indonesian by birth, married to a French husband, and an expat spouse who has built a life across Indonesia, France, the United States, and India, home was never going to be a fixed address. It had to become something else entirely.

In this episode, Rika shares one of the most honest and layered conversations we've had on Rooted and Routed. She talks about observing Ramadan as a minority in Western countries, where the absence of community led to something unexpected — deeper personal reflection. She talks about pausing a career that had spanned logistics, IT, L'Oréal, and education, and how volunteering became the bridge between who she was professionally and who she was becoming. She talks about raising children between cultures, the guilt that comes with every move, and the quiet work of passing on values when everything else keeps changing.

And she arrives at something that will stay with you long after the episode ends. Identity is not fragmented by living across cultures. It is layered. Every country adds something. Nothing is lost.

In this episode:

— Ramadan across four countries and what changes, what doesn't

— Why Rika's identity feels different in Indonesia than it does in the West

— The identity gap a career pause creates and how volunteering fills it

— Raising third culture kids and answering the question: where is home?

— Cross-cultural marriage, language and the patience it requires

— Why home is not a place, it's wherever the family is together

Wherever you are in your global journey, this one is for you.

🎧 Available now on:
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