We used to have Elvis Presley and now we have no pressies but we do have Mr Beast making a human centipede so big that he can beat Wilt Chamberlain's body count in under 40 minutes. No one knows what they meant by 3 6 9 but it was probably two parking meters halfway through being cut off and then Cloaca Luke is beside them bent over getting a cloacoscopy

https://www.patreon.com/posts/155647827

Nancy was poppin bloops listening to Peep in her Unalive Boys hoodie and every time you overhear two uncs they only ever talk about that but lesbians have no test for it. If you go to the dog park and have to step over something so big you have to use a shop vac and never clean it out you know it was left by someone with mental health

🎼Unalive - Dream Baby Dream

Sorry the next one will be a day or two late because we are partying in HOLLYWOOD with A-listers

Keep an eye out for the 350 bit and the Drippy Louis Bluey Back Bling season of Fortnite. 7/7/7 was the luckiest day ever but no one invented scratch tickets or getting a UTI from the Reverse Shocker yet so it was basically useless for all intents and purposes. Then 7/7/77 happened and we were all too young for that one so what gives

This one is brought to you by acetominophen and hydrocodone. Do NOT take too many because the Tylenol is bad for your liver and really the whole thing is bad. Get addicted to something positive like camping out in front of the Pokemon vending machine at the store. Just slide my plate under the door because yes it is Thanksgiving but I am very busy reading the audiobook for I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and was Shot by the Taliban. Mott the Hoople and Nazareth vinyls are in the house of everyone who dies

Full episode at https://www.patreon.com/posts/154455167

Original Four Loko is back but without the caffeine or the alcohol. Eminem is going to jump Machine Gun Kelly after a show and put him in a medical bed with LED lights that help your nose and butt. Life is like High Point University because getting high is the point and they have a steakhouse. If you went to Planters Academy you get in by default

Sorry we got Nightlagged and thought Daylight Savings Time was today and it went back 12 hours. It gets confusing because several of us work for three letter agencies and have to commute from Arizona to the Navajo Nation to make sure no one is planning to occupy Alcatraz again. Have you ever noticed that the first thing that gets worn out in a new car is the clock

https://www.patreon.com/posts/153400421

Lawrence Welk is only good if your mouth is stuck open permanently for birds to make a nest in. Buying JAV magazines owned by Richard Ramirez is cost prohibitive unlike suggestively-shaped waffles at the Icelandic prick museum. If you eat there and learn at the same time they would call that hitting two flies with one slap. In Poland they would call it roasting two pieces of meat on one fire which is considered a daunting task

Lunch lady ghost kitchen would go crazy if you kept running into dead ends where there were synapses missing. Proximity to lesbians means Alison Bechdel is learning how to play Fast Car outside your dorm room. Ask your parents before using cooking wine or smoking the wine flavored blunt wraps. Silly sexual comments are once again allowed but only about ProJared

Full episode at https://www.patreon.com/posts/152492908