Welcome to The Shetlar Family European Disaster Tour: The Podcast, where one perpetually misunderstood teenager documents her parents' questionable taste in travel and the slow descent into middle-class chaos.

After escaping the "Tiny Parisian Box of Germs," the next leg of our forced cultural education takes us to the sun-baked, salt-scented glory of Spain. The air is warm, the people are genuinely friendly, and I have actual space to deploy my 'I Survived Paris' band hoodie. It's almost... enjoyable.

Almost.

The universe (which clearly has it out for the Shetlar family) immediately reminds us we can't have nice things by losing Mom's entire suitcase—the one with her sensible skirts and her high-end SPF. This forced minimalism is a catastrophe for her, but for me? It's hilarious. For the first time ever, my control-freak mom is forced to live on the edge, rationing concealer and wearing Dad's ridiculously oversized vacation T-shirt.

But the real miracle of this chapter isn't the sunshine or the tapas; it's the Wi-Fi. It’s agonizingly slow—dial-up slow, the kind of speed where you can age waiting for an image to load—but it’s unlimited. This digital lifeline, stretched thin and constantly buffering, restores my connection to the outside world, making me an international traveler with slightly laggy social media access.

Join me as we navigate lost luggage, a semi-luxury boat tour with surprisingly good tapas, and the quiet, nightly ritual of reading Jack: The Dentist to my little brother, all of which somehow turns my initial horror into a lukewarm, almost pleasant acceptance.

The dread is gone. I’m surviving. But will Italy deliver the holy grail of family travel: high-speed fibre optic?

Book Title: The Italian Kiss Short Story

Author: Warren M. Walker

Publisher: V & W Publishing

https://publishing.irishknights.co.za/the-italian-kiss-short-story/

Available on Amazon.com:

Kindle:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Italian-Kiss-Short-Story-By-Warren-Walker/dp/B0DCLJB73X

Paperback:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Italian-Kiss-Short-Story-By-Warren-Walker/dp/B0FV1SR61M

A nine-hour flight that felt like 80,000, a suffocatingly small hotel room, and the utter betrayal of slow Wi-Fi. Fourteen-year-old Lilly is not having the Parisian adventure her parents, Elizabeth and Bob, promised. From the moment they touch down in France, the trip is a masterclass in middle-class travel disappointment.

Join us as Lilly navigates the cultural minefield of her family's ambitions. Listen in as Dad, in "The Intrepid Explorer" mode, attempts a seizure-like mime to get a taxi, Mom struggles to maintain a polite veneer in the face of a "Petite Chambre Familiale" the size of a walk-in closet, and Lilly grapples with the agonizing reality of being digitally banished with a tragic 0.5 Mbps Wi-Fi connection.

This week, we recount the saga of The Louvre Debacle (where the Mona Lisa is judged for not smiling), the Eiffel Tower Washout (where they pay to stand inside a cloud), and the Unfriendly Locals who confirm Lilly's hypothesis that Europeans are just too cool for them. Trapped in a tiny, slightly damp room with a snoring father and a suitcase privacy partition, Lilly starts a countdown to freedom. Paris isn't beautiful enough to forgive. Next stop: Spain.

Book Title: The Italian Kiss Short Story

Author: Warren M. Walker

Publisher: V & W Publishing

https://publishing.irishknights.co.za/the-italian-kiss-short-story/

Available on Amazon.com:

Kindle:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Italian-Kiss-Short-Story-By-Warren-Walker/dp/B0DCLJB73X

Paperback:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Italian-Kiss-Short-Story-By-Warren-Walker/dp/B0FV1SR61M

Book Title: The Italian Kiss Short Story

Chapter One: The Sentence of Summer

Lilly's meticulously planned summer of pool parties, TikTok, and freedom is about to be obliterated.

It starts, as all family catastrophes do, with a suspiciously formal dinner and her Dad’s signature "life-altering announcement" speech. When her middle-class-hero parents, Elizabeth (a woman who prefers sophistication 60% of the time) and Bob (an accountant who worships fiscal responsibility), drop the bombshell, Lilly’s world grinds to a halt: A whole month of forced family bonding on a European tour of France, Spain, and Italy.

For her five-year-old brother, Freddie, it’s a pirate quest complete with action figures and a driveway rock. For Lilly, it’s a terrifying sentence. Thirty days without blazing-fast, unrestricted Wi-Fi? It’s not a vacation; it’s social suicide.

Join Lilly as she navigates the agonizing pre-departure trauma—from a battle against linen shirts and 'effortless chic' to a desperate, late-night digital detox to avoid being completely cut off from her friends. Follow the reluctant, eye-rolling, teenage tourist on the chaotic drive to the airport as she grapples with her father’s loud French podcasts, her mother’s frantic stress cleaning, and the realization that her summer of fun is now a guaranteed parade of ancient ruins and awkward family photos.

The plane is her metal prison, the destination is 'culture,' and her fate is sealed. Tune in to find out if she can survive a month of forced enrichment in Europe without her best friend, her favorite band hoodie, or a single reliable Wi-Fi signal.

Book Title: The Italian Kiss Short Story

Author: Warren M. Walker

Publisher: V & W Publishing

https://publishing.irishknights.co.za/the-italian-kiss-short-story/

Available on Amazon.com:

Kindle:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Italian-Kiss-Short-Story-By-Warren-Walker/dp/B0DCLJB73X

Paperback:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Italian-Kiss-Short-Story-By-Warren-Walker/dp/B0FV1SR61M