Understanding Social Pressures and Masking in Kids

Curious if OT could help your child's struggles? Download Why Choose OT to find out! I sat down with Liz Downing, a pediatric occupational therapist from Wilmington, Delaware, whose passion for nature-based therapy and supporting children’s emotional and sensory needs shines through her practice, In the Woods OT. We first connected at the American Occupational Therapy Association conference, where we bonded over our shared interest in helping children navigate social and environmental pressures. In this episode, we dig deep into the realities kids face both in traditional school settings and beyond. Including overwhelming schedules, academic demands, and the increasing lack of unstructured play. Liz explains how children—especially those who are neurodivergent, often feel compelled to "mask" their true selves to meet external expectations, and how this can take a real toll on their nervous systems and emotional well-being. In this episode you'll hear about: Introduction of Liz DowningHow Sarah and Liz met (AOTA conference)Liz’s professional background: pediatric occupational therapy, hospital-based experience, transition to nature-based OTLiz's family background and experiences traveling during COVIDFounding of “In the Woods OT” (nature-based practice in Wilmington, DE)Focus on emotional regulation and supporting both kids and parentsDefining Social and Environmental PressuresExplanation of “social pressures” and “environmental pressures” from Liz’s perspectivePrimary struggles observed in children, especially in school environmentsGrowing expectations placed on children (school duration, structured activities, reduced unstructured play)The adult perspective: cultivating compassion and re-evaluating expectations for childrenThe Concept of Masking in ChildrenDefinition of masking, particularly among neurodivergent childrenAttempts by children to “fit in” or meet external expectations at the expense of authenticityEmotional and psychological impacts of masking: shame, energy drain, and exhaustionThe daily versus occasional need to “wear a different persona”Comparison to adult experiences of situational maskingThe Neuroscience of Masking and the Nervous SystemThe nervous system’s “safe/connected” versus “protected” (fight/flight/freeze) modesHow masking keeps kids in a protected, energy-draining statePhysical and emotional consequences: fatigue and aftermath (e.g., after-school meltdowns)The parent’s role: understanding, empathy, and recognizing dysregulationParental Strategies for Supporting Dysregulated KidsManaging after-school meltdowns: recognizing the need for reconnection and restorationPractical strategies: providing snacks, space, co-regulation, and minimizing choices when overwhelmedImportance of parental regulation to support the childBalancing support with age-appropriate expectationsAvoiding perpetually low expectations; instead, nurturing growth and capacityPracticing body/sensory awareness in regulated momentsBuilding emotional language and self-awareness in children for proactive regulation Links and Resources From Today's Show Why Should I Seek Occupational Therapy?Connect with Sarah Collins on IGThe Homeschool OT Teachers Pay TeachersExecutive Functioning For Teens Course Social Skills & Executive FunctioningConnect With Liz On FacebookConnect With Liz On InstagramIn The Woods OT Episode 13: Beyond the Five Senses: Understanding Your Child's Interoceptive World with Cara Kosinski Episode 14: Outdoor Activities to Develop Interoception in Children with Guest Caroline SantangeloEpisode 15: From Morning to Night: Incorporating Social Emotional Learning in HomeschoolEpisode 16: Navigating the Interoceptive Sense: Insights and Strategies for Parents Episode 28: Risky Play: Understanding the Benefits and Strategies for Safe Child DevelopmentEpisode 29: Parenting with Co-Regulation Episode 30: Sensory Processing and Co-Regulation: Insights for Parents Episode 49: Connection Over Curriculum: Building Strong Bonds in Homeschooling Episode 61: Mindful Moments: Supporting Focus and Calm in Children Connect With Our Guest, Liz Downing Liz Downing is a pediatric occupational therapist with 17 years of experience supporting kids and families across hospitals, early intervention, schools, and private practice. She now runs In the Woods OT, a nature-based solo practice in Wilmington, DE, with a focus on emotional regulation and whole-family support. Outside of work, she’s a wife, mom to three awesome kids, and a new dog mom to a rescue mini poodle.