Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast Por Patricia Young Alex McLaughlin arte de portada

Unapologetically AuDHD

Unapologetically AuDHD

De: Patricia Young Alex McLaughlin
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Unapologetically AuDHD is a space for neurodivergent folks—especially Autistic ADHDers (AuDHDers)—to feel seen, understood, and know you're not alone. We believe there's nothing wrong with having a brain that's wired differently. Through honest conversations about the highs, lows, and messy in-betweens, we normalize neurodivergent experiences, explore intersectionality, and celebrate the unique & sometimes beautiful ways of thinking, feeling, and moving through the world. Led by two AuDHDers with PDA profiles, and lived experience with OCD, this podcast exists to de-stigmatize neurodivergence; honor both strengths and limitations, and remind us that we don't need to be "fixed"—we just want to be heard. Have you been told you're "too" (fill in the blank)? You're too sensitive; you think/worry too much; you take things too personally; you're too emotional, too finicky, too fragile, too intense, too uptight, too slow. Have you been told you can't take a joke; you can't go with the flow? You can't let go of things? Is making decisions difficult for you? You might have an acute sense of smell, and strong odors, crowded noisy environments and bright lights are just too much! You're in the right place! You may have been diagnosed (or misdiagnosed) with anxiety, depression, bipolar, borderline, having OCD or more. Our brain and bodies are wired differently. There's nothing wrong with you!2025 Higiene y Vida Saludable Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental
Episodios
  • 8. What is Autism Part 4: The DSM Got It Wrong: What Autism Really Looks Like

    8. What is Autism Part 4: The DSM Got It Wrong: What Autism Really Looks Like
    Nov 7 2025
    8. What is Autism Part 4: The DSM Got It Wrong: What Autism Really Looks Like SUMMARY In this conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and Alex McLaughlin (they/them) wrap up their discussion on the DSM criteria for autism through a deeply human, neurodiversity-affirming lens. They unpack how autism presents across childhood and adulthood, challenge medicalized definitions, and reflect on the lived realities of autistic experience—from masking and burnout to doubt, misdiagnosis, and the ongoing process of self-understanding. Together, they illustrate how embracing neurodivergence transforms shame into self-compassion and invites deeper connection and authenticity. SOME KEY THINGS DISCUSSED Grounded, authentic check-in emphasizing permission to "show up as you are." Discussion of living in the "land of not enough" and the emotional toll of productivity pressure. Exploration of Pervasive Drive for Autonomy (PDA) and its everyday impact. Deep reflection on internal vs. external experiences of autistic people. DSM Criteria C–E broken down in accessible, real-world language. Criterion C: Autism traits must appear early but may be masked or misunderstood. Examples of masked autism in childhood—early reading, "picky" eating, routine difficulty with change, hyperlexic tendencies. Misinterpretation of autism traits within families where neurodivergence runs generationally. Emotional safety and meltdowns as signs of regulation, not "bad behavior." Childhood signs: intense interests, anxiety, internalizing vs. externalizing behaviors. Discussion on autistic masking and burnout—"functioning" at great emotional cost. Criterion D: Societal mismatch, not autism itself, causes distress. Criterion E: Traits are not explained by intellectual disability; critique of deficit-based framing. The importance of validation, fact-checking, and curiosity as autistic traits. Common autistic professions: engineers, scientists, data analysts, musicians, writers, therapists. Autism in helping professions and systems (e.g., military, therapy, police, law, medicine). Reflection on doubt after diagnosis and the nonlinear acceptance journey. The harm of misdiagnosis: autism overlooked as anxiety, trauma, BPD, or OCD. Intersectional awareness—how autism is misdiagnosed or criminalized in marginalized communities. Closing insight: embracing identity over pathology leads to freedom, compassion, and authenticity. SOUNDBITES "My internal experience is quite vastly different than how many people perceive me outwardly."--Patricia "Traits must cause challenges not because of being autistic, but because we live in a world not built for us."--Alex "People can have this impression that they're doing well, not knowing this isn't average—it shouldn't have to be this hard."--Alex "I spent so much of my adult life trying to fix what I thought was wrong with me; learning I was autistic changed everything."--Alex "How many kids in the juvenile justice system are really autistic but were misdiagnosed because of their color or class?"--Patricia CHAPTERS (Please adjust for the addition of the intro): 00:00 Navigating Groundedness and Self-Reflection 02:44 Understanding Autism: DSM Criteria Overview 05:42 Personal Experiences with Autism in Childhood 08:41 The Impact of Social Dynamics on Autistic Traits 11:31 Challenges of Masking and Autistic Burnout 14:27 Criteria D: Life Challenges and Functioning 17:17 Criteria E: Disturbances Explained 19:58 Exploring Careers for Autistic Individuals 23:04 Misdiagnosis and the Need for Awareness 25:56 Navigating Self-Doubt and Acceptance 29:00 The Intersection of Race and Autism 31:42 Conclusion and Resources for Neurodivergent Individuals ABOUT YOUR HOSTS: Alex McLaughlin (they/them) has a Master's in Social Work, and is a licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW) on Wahpekute land (colonized as MN). Alex is an AuDHDer, PDAer, Queer, non-binary, fat, chronically ill, disabled, & a multi-racial (1/8th Chinese & white passing) human with lived experience of OCD. As a late diagnosed adult, Alex has felt different and embraced their quirky, eccentric nature—what they now recognize as undiagnosed AuDHD. This lifelong experience of masking and curiosity about people inspired their passion for understanding and serving others, ultimately shaping their path today. Alex provides neurodivergent and Queer-affirming therapy and Autism and ADHD assessments on Wahpekute land (colonized as Minnesota). Their work is grounded in intersectional feminism, ecological systems theory, and a commitment to decolonizing mental health care. They support clients in exploring how interconnected systems shape their experiences, while fostering resilience, empowerment, and self-understanding—especially for Neurodivergent, 2SLGBTQIA+, BIPOC/POGM, and disabled communities. Trained in ERP, I-CBT (including ND-affirming I-CBT), sand tray therapy, TF-CBT, and somatic approaches, Alex ...
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    35 m
  • 7. What is Autism Part 3: Routine, Rattled, and Ready: Living the DSM Out Loud

    7. What is Autism Part 3: Routine, Rattled, and Ready: Living the DSM Out Loud
    Nov 3 2025
    7. What is Autism Part 3: Routine, Rattled, and Ready: Living the DSM Out Loud SUMMARY In this lively and validating episode, Patricia (she/her) and Alex (they/them) unpack how the DSM describes autism versus how it actually feels to live it. They explore everyday stimming, sensory seeking, routines, and how nervous system regulation shapes reactions, from "that's my chair" moments to deep nervous system truths. Expect laughter, nuance, and honest conversation about honoring neurodivergent needs without pathologizing them. SOME KEY THINGS DISCUSSED The DSM criteria often miss the lived experience of autistic adults, especially those diagnosed later in life. Stimming is a nervous system regulation tool, not a "behavior to stop." Examples of stimming include toe rubbing, lip chewing, fidgeting, humming, rocking, hair twirling, and even organizing candy by color. Everyone stims—autistic and neurotypical folks alike—it's about soothing and grounding. "Stealth stimming" can be subtle and unconscious, like rubbing fabrics, counting, or shifting in a chair. Sensory seeking is tied to comfort, curiosity, and pleasure—touching textures, smelling things, or petting animals. Stimming can also show up as repetitive speech, watching the same show, or humming, which activates the vagus nerve. Routine and familiarity bring safety. Unexpected changes can cause distress, not because of rigidity but due to nervous system overwhelm. Autistic distress over disrupted routines often differs from OCD—it's rooted in needing predictability and sensory balance, not irrational fear. Personal stories illustrate how "my chair" or "don't move my stuff" moments aren't about control but about regulation and respect. Many late-diagnosed adults mask or internalize distress, leading to exhaustion or self-criticism. Externalized dysregulation (meltdowns) and internalized distress (shutting down, self-blame) are both valid responses. "Size of the problem" teaching models can feel invalidating when they dismiss autistic nervous system reactions. The nervous system reaction is always valid, even if the expression of it needs tools for safety and alignment with one's values. Perseveration (looping thoughts, emotions, or worries) isn't a choice—it's how the neurodivergent brain processes deeply. "Get over it" advice misses that emotional regulation takes as long as it takes. Humor and self-awareness help—especially when noticing our quirks like candy sorting or counting behaviors. Clear rules and predictable structures are calming; shifting expectations without notice can be deeply dysregulating. Autistic self-awareness is not about eliminating reactions, but learning self-compassion and tools for regulation. SOUNDBITES "Living in these meat bodies could be a whole series." –Patricia "Everyone stims. It's just that autistic folks need it to stay regulated." –Alex "If we could stop perseverating on a thing, we would. It's not fun to be stuck."--Alex "My husband knows—don't touch my stuff, don't move my stuff." –Patricia "The feeling and the reaction are valid. How we manage it is what we can work on." –Patricia CHAPTERS (Please adjust for the addition of the intro): 00:00 Introduction and Personal Check-in 01:29 Exploring DSM Criteria for Autism 02:15 Understanding Stimming and Its Variations 05:40 The Role of Stimming in Self-Regulation 09:41 Sensory Seeking Behaviors 12:38 Criteria B2: Safety in Familiarity and Routine 17:03 Reactions to Disruption and Managing Responses 24:08 Understanding Nervous System Responses 27:11 Processing Emotions and Feelings 28:35 The Importance of Clear Rules 32:24 Safety in Passionate Interests 36:21 Exploring Sensory Differences ABOUT YOUR HOSTS: Alex McLaughlin (they/them) has a Master's in Social Work, and is a licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW) on Wahpekute land (colonized as MN). Alex is an AuDHDer, PDAer, Queer, non-binary, fat, chronically ill, disabled, & a multi-racial (1/8th Chinese & white passing) human with lived experience of OCD. As a late diagnosed adult, Alex has felt different and embraced their quirky, eccentric nature—what they now recognize as undiagnosed AuDHD. This lifelong experience of masking and curiosity about people inspired their passion for understanding and serving others, ultimately shaping their path today. Alex provides neurodivergent and Queer-affirming therapy and Autism and ADHD assessments on Wahpekute land (colonized as Minnesota). Their work is grounded in intersectional feminism, ecological systems theory, and a commitment to decolonizing mental health care. They support clients in exploring how interconnected systems shape their experiences, while fostering resilience, empowerment, and self-understanding—especially for Neurodivergent, 2SLGBTQIA+, BIPOC/POGM, and disabled communities. Trained in ERP, I-CBT (including ND-affirming I-CBT), sand tray therapy, TF-CBT, and somatic approaches, Alex also brings ...
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    49 m
  • 6. What is Autism part 2: So…do we have to text back? Autism friendship "rules"

    6. What is Autism part 2: So…do we have to text back? Autism friendship "rules"
    Sep 18 2025
    6. What is Autism part 2: So…do we have to text back? Autism friendship "rules" SUMMARY In this episode, Patricia (she/her) and Alex (they/them) continue their series on What is Autism? by exploring DSM criteria alongside lived experiences. They discuss how autistic people navigate relationships, friendship dynamics, context shifting, alexithymia, PDA, and the double empathy problem. Both share personal stories of how autism shows up in day-to-day life, from kettles breaking to difficulty with group projects, and offer insights that go beyond clinical definitions. SOME KEY THINGS DISCUSSED The challenges and resilience that show up in everyday autistic life (like handling a broken kettle without melting down). How alexithymia and interoception difficulties affect awareness of one's own emotions. The role of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance–preferred term: Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) in amplifying "forbidden fruit" thinking when told not to do something. DSM Criterion A3: difficulties with developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships. Why initiating vs. maintaining friendships can feel very different for some autistic people. How executive functioning impacts social connection (remembering to text back, confirming plans, etc.). The double empathy problem and how communication mismatches are a two-way street. Why autistic-to-autistic friendships often feel easier and less draining than cross-neurotype relationships. The myth that autistic people lack imagination or creativity. How imaginative play and group projects often reflect mismatches in processing styles, not a lack of creativity. The importance of shared interests in sparking autistic creativity and play. How monotropism (deep focus on one thing) shapes transitions and task-switching. Why context shifting (e.g., from task to social mode) can feel jarring. Strategies like sitting in the car before appointments as a transition aid. The tension between expectations in friendships vs. lived autistic processing differences. Trauma's role in shaping how autistic adults approach relationships. Why diagnoses and labels can provide self-understanding and compassion. How disappointment in friendships often stems from mismatched expectations. The unique blend of humor, honesty, and vulnerability that autistic friendships bring. SOUNDBITES "I had to kind of like talk myself through it so I didn't have a meltdown… but if it were a different day, I probably would have." – Alex "I find making friends very easy. It's the maintaining of the relationships that's very challenging." – Patricia "It's like you're interviewing someone for a job. I just genuinely want to know about them." – Alex "Without understanding autism, we assume everybody's like us. And when people don't meet our standards, we're like, what the heck is wrong with everybody?" – Patricia "Relationships are just challenging. I think they're great, I think we need them, but there are so many nuances." – Patricia CHAPTERS (Please adjust for the addition of the intro): 00:00 Navigating Daily Challenges and Emotional Responses 02:55 Understanding Autism: DSM Criteria and Personal Experiences 05:35 The Complexity of Relationships and Friendships 08:38 Executive Functioning and Social Interactions 11:34 The Double Empathy Problem and Communication Mismatches 18:55 Understanding Autism and Communication Differences 20:16 Imaginative Play and Creativity in Autistic Individuals 24:09 Context Shifting and Task Management Challenges 29:47 Navigating Group Dynamics and Social Interactions 32:25 Future Conversations and Closing Thoughts ABOUT YOUR HOSTS: Alex McLaughlin (they/them) has a Master's in Social Work, and is a licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW) on Wahpekute land (colonized as MN). Alex is an AuDHDer, PDAer, Queer, non-binary, fat, chronically ill, disabled, & a multi-racial (1/8th Chinese & white passing) human with lived experience of OCD. As a late diagnosed adult, Alex has felt different and embraced their quirky, eccentric nature—what they now recognize as undiagnosed AuDHD. This lifelong experience of masking and curiosity about people inspired their passion for understanding and serving others, ultimately shaping their path today. Alex provides neurodivergent and Queer-affirming therapy and Autism and ADHD assessments on Wahpekute land (colonized as Minnesota). Their work is grounded in intersectional feminism, ecological systems theory, and a commitment to decolonizing mental health care. They support clients in exploring how interconnected systems shape their experiences, while fostering resilience, empowerment, and self-understanding—especially for Neurodivergent, 2SLGBTQIA+, BIPOC/POGM, and disabled communities. Trained in ERP, I-CBT (including ND-affirming I-CBT), sand tray therapy, TF-CBT, and somatic approaches, Alex also brings lived experience and is pursuing IFS to deepen their ...
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    36 m
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