Two Dads, One Dream: Navigating Parenthood Through IVF and Surrogacy with Dr. Toby Hays (Ep. 102)

What does it really take to build a family when the path isn’t traditional—and no one gives you a roadmap?

In this conversation you'll get to meet my friend who I recently reunited with at a high school reunion. Toby shares about the personal journey he and his husband took to become parents.

If you’ve ever assumed that becoming a parent is just a series of medical steps and legal checkboxes, you might be overlooking the emotional weight, trust, and intentionality required—especially for same-sex couples navigating IVF and surrogacy.

In this episode, we unpack the parts people don’t always talk about: the vulnerability of choosing an egg donor, the leap of faith in finding a surrogate, and the emotional complexity that unfolds long after the paperwork is signed.

My long time friend, Toby shares how leaning into support, honesty, and empathy became the real foundation of parenthood—and how that journey reshaped not just his family, but the way he shows up for his patients. Dr. Toby is a medical doctor and Adjunct Clinical Instructor at Stanford Children’s Health in California.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER:

· What the IVF and surrogacy process actually looks like behind the scenes

· How intentional decision-making plays a role in building a family through nontraditional paths

· The emotional and legal challenges same-sex couples face—and how to navigate them

· How becoming a parent transformed Toby’s perspective on empathy, genetics, and patient care

This is a heartfelt conversation about love, trust, and redefining what it means to create a family—on your own terms.

Connect with Toby here: https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/doctor/tobias-g-hays.html

CONNECT with Lisa & get IVF COACHING SUPPORT

Download IVF Mindset Shift Guide https://ivfmanifestingamiracle.myflodesk.com

BOOK a complimentary DISCOVERY CALL

BOOK: ‘HOLD ON, BABY! A Soulful Guide to Navigating the Ups & Downs of Infertility & IVF.’

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Music Credit (Closing Song) by Sam Costigan. Follow her on Spotify and IG