Trauma to Trust: Everyday Heroes with Jaz Ampaw-Farr

Jaz Ampaw-Farr, author and "resilience ninja" , joins Becky Dawson and Laiba to discuss the profound, life-changing impact that everyday heroes—any adult—can have on a child's life. They tackle the question: What impact do everyday heroes have on a child in trauma?

In this powerful episode of In This Together, Jaz Ampaw-Farr and Laiba share their lived experiences of childhood trauma and the vital role that educators played in their healing and success. Jaz introduces her "Be Human First" philosophy and the need for adults to prioritise their own wellbeing to show up as their "full fat self". The discussion centers on the small, consistent acts of kindness and belief—the everyday hero moments—that provide value over rescue and are the true foundation for effective education.

Takeaways:

• The profound impact of "everyday heroes" in school—any adult who is consistent, present, and displays botheredness.
• The critical need for educators to lead themselves first and prioritise their own wellbeing to avoid displaying as "Category Two" (busy, transactional) adults.
• Understanding the difference between value and rescue; valuing a child is essential for them to eventually value themselves.
• Jaz's "Three Es" of connecting with students: Empathise, Engage, and then Enrol—rejecting the expectation of immediate trust and compliance.
• The life-changing power of simply believing a child when they disclose abuse or trauma.
• How language influences our actions: moving away from terms like "challenging behaviour" to "distressed behaviour" or "safety-seeking behaviour".
• The role of leadership in modeling wellbeing (e.g., leaving work on time, setting boundaries) and embracing fallibility
• The importance of self-regulating your sharing of lived experience (Mark Finnis's "Three Ps": Private, Personal, Public) to ensure you are not sharing the burden of pain.

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Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Jaz Ampaw-Farr

01:11 - The Mindset Shift: Harnessing "Because of You" Impact

02:30 - Be Human First: Prioritising Your Wellbeing

03:51 - Value over Rescue: Everyday Hero Moments

05:51 - The Three Es: Empathise, Engage, Enrol

07:02 - Laiba's Lived Experience and the Power of Unconditional Positive Regard

09:23 - Sharing Your Story: Private, Personal, and Public Life

12:19 - Choosing to Show Up as Yourself: Finding Agency

14:15 - Protecting Your Wellbeing: Setting Boundaries on Sharing

18:14 - Professionalism vs. Connection: Finding the Balance

23:46 - The Role of Leadership in Modelling Wellbeing and Fallibility

27:59 - Being 10% Brave and Living a Life Not Driven by Fear

29:25 - The Single Most Important Thing: Believe Them

34:15 - Trauma-Informed Training and Sharing Lived Experience Safely

39:45 - The Language We Use: Distressed Behaviour vs. Challenging Behaviour

46:55 - Sharing is Caring: Skank Off and Take a Minute to Breathe