Asher and Dusty explore how ADHD-related experiences—repeated negative feedback, rejection sensitivity, and a focus on weaknesses—undermine self-esteem and self-worth. They explain how people with ADHD often dismiss abilities that come easily, assume others are more capable, and measure themselves by low moments rather than by peaks of high performance. The hosts emphasize the importance of recognizing ADHD patterns (peaks and valleys), valuing strengths that feel “too easy,” and reframing accomplishments so people see their role in their own story instead of attributing successes to luck.

Those with ADHD also connect self-worth to relationships and boundaries: chronic people-pleasing and fear of rejection invite boundary-pushing others and can erode self-respect. Practical approaches offered include perspective work (imagining how you treat friends with flaws), inventorying where life already feels easy, and choosing relationships that match realistic expectations (e.g., not expecting people to be “on demand”). Together these shifts—understanding ADHD, celebrating strengths, setting limits, and changing perspectives—help rebuild healthier self-esteem and sustainable boundaries.

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In this episode, Asher and Dusty introduce and unpack a practical coaching tool—“yours, mine, and ours”—designed to help people with ADHD (and their partners or coworkers) distinguish which parts of a conflict or problem they truly own, which belong to someone else, and where there’s real opportunity to collaborate. Asher explains how the model prevents the common ADHD pattern of blame-sponge behavior (automatically assuming fault), restores perspective, and helps people decide whether they can co-create a solution or need to make a different choice (for example, stepping away from a job with an immovable boss).

The hosts use real coaching examples—two business partners with different ADHD presentations and a client who left a job after recognizing her struggles were her boss’s responsibility—to show how the model shifts conversations from reactive guilt to clearer agency. Lastly, the hosts discuss how the framework helps in marital situations, especially when ADHD intersects with an anxious partner, by promoting healthier communication, individual pause-and-reframe strategies, and clearer requests for support.

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• Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate.
• About Asher and Dusty

• Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode
• Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD
• Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

In this episode, Ash and Dusty introduce the conversational labels "big brain" and "fast brain" as alternatives to inattentive and hyperactive ADHD descriptors. They explain how big brainers tend to get stuck in planning, perfectionism, and idea-generation—always needing the full picture before starting—while fast brainers rush into action, overcommit, and underestimate time and bandwidth. Through client stories and personal examples, they show how each style creates different practical problems (paralysis vs. toxic optimism) and why the internal experience matters more than external labels.

The hosts offer concrete coaching approaches: for big brainers, set committed milestones, decouple long-term product ambitions from immediate learning goals, and create low-stakes experiments to break inertia; for fast brainers, treat time and energy as finite resources, practice saying no from values, and build constraints that prevent constant overcommitment. They emphasize that few people are purely one type—many move between both—and the goal is finding the "middle gear": practical strategies that move projects forward while preserving presence, quality, and meaningful connection to others.

• Join the Community | Become a Patron
• Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate.
• About Asher and Dusty

• Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode
• Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD
• Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com