Topic Lords Podcast Por Jim Stormdancer arte de portada

Topic Lords

Topic Lords

De: Jim Stormdancer
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Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week.© 2025 Jim Stormdancer Arte
Episodios
  • 300. Dave's Kid Doesn't Know How To Spit

    300. Dave's Kid Doesn't Know How To Spit
    Jul 21 2025
    Lords: * Jenni * Tyriq Topics: * Internal Monologue Soundboards * Ash wants to be the very best, but at what cost? When is competition a bad thing? * The different ways people play games * Friendship is a skill * Water… Earth… Fire… Air… which bending is best bending? Microtopics: * Scrubbin' Trouble. * Figuring out how to do a multiplayer roguelike. * Power leveling all your skills at once and hoping it's enough. * Looking at the comments, because there might be something good in there. * The Dawn of Our Topic Lords Century. * Why all ducks sound like that. * Hearing a sound an incorporating it into your internal monologue. * Saying "good morning" whenever you pick up the phone no matter what time of day it is. * Alone in the Dark Hedge Maze Mafioso Barks. * Talkin' Barks. * A vault full of clones of a guy named Gary and the only thing they can say is "Gary" * You're a cluster of cells wafting through the universe and latching onto phrases you hear on the internet. * Kids who think they invented being dumb on the Internet. * The Bill Nye theme song sound board. * Wanting to be the very best, like noone ever was, and defining "best" as "kindest." * Wanting to be the very best, and then being it, and then no longer being it and losing your entire sense of identity. * What if you're on a spaceship? Lots of weird things happen on a spaceship. * Striving to be the most benevolent god, like noone ever was. * The sound of angering the giant goose. * Trying to get your significant other to play Outer Wilds because you can't fly the spaceship. * Solving puzzles with the internet. * Super Metroid + Link to the Past and other multi-game randomizers. * Lies on video game forums. * The Search for the Last Great Secret. * A Clop or a Girp. * Collecting meat for a Roguelike Celebration talk. * Holding a meeting about all the ways your project could potentially fail. * Good mortem! * Going back in time and all humans clump together like a giant Katamari. * Friendship as a skill vs. friendship as a natural outcome of your life circumstances. * Friendship decay, a a problem that neurotypicals have. * Keeping up with real life friends vs. with Internet friends. * Online games as a third place. * Complaining about all the ways in which your are socially incompetent. * Inviting people over for a listening party. * Not knowing what number you're thinking of but knowing that it's either odd or even. * Filling away tidbits of information. * The Y2K problem where when pro people start being over 127 years old, everyone remembers them as being -128. * Things that are impossible to think about because you have no frame of reference. * Making yourself a little coffee treat and scrolling reddit so you can stop thinking about death. * Water is imba! * Whether magma falls under bending Earth or bending Fire. * Highly fluid particulate sand. * Which bending is most delicious, according to avatarfandom.com * The cosmology of Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City" * Whether circuit bending is still fun now that everything is software-controlled. * Circuit bending your electric together. * The Goodbye Noise. * Odd Object dot Zone. * Hamster Disco.
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    1 h y 7 m
  • 299. Skin Fortress With Armed Idiot

    299. Skin Fortress With Armed Idiot
    Jul 14 2025
    Lords: * Jenni * Robb Topics: * The phenomenon where multiple people respond with the same mystifying emoji * Skin Fort dream and image both provided by WiL: https://stale-meme.itch.io/ * Lately I've engaged in pretend play with my 4 year old nephew by pretending we stole a crate of "Toxic Waste" candy and lying to the cops about it. As actual parents, is this healthy for the child? * It turns out you don't want to rent a Playstation * Hints * https://x.com/jensbest/status/413105300535668736 * I would be happy to talk about what having an operation to get an Osia 2 bone anchored hearing aid is like. Microtopics: * The Stanley Parable New Edition. * Cyberganked. * Wishing for games using the Steam wishlist system and the Steam Monkey's Paw curls. * CRPG blobbers. * 25 years of Hugo. * Recognizing a Windows program from 1996. * Back when malware pretended to be a little guy. * The origins of Skinfort. * Hapsburg Jaw. * Angry Cry Laughing. * Meta-channels and meta-meta-channels. * Medicinal Dock Spiders. * This Spider Pays Taxes. * The weakest Great Lake of all. * The good Mexican restaurant in Fond du Lac. * Fish pouches. * Whether you have to refrigerate Big League Chew. * Putting tuna on dry toast. * Four year olds who want to impress people with how sour s candy they can eat. * The amount of toxic waste you are allowed to feed a child. * Having a milkshake and being in bed by 8:30. * Doing improv with your four year old nephew about invoking the fifth amendment. * The Cocomelon video about never talking to the police. * I'm not sad; I'm just on a triangle. * French mice asking to buy your armpit cheese. * A kid who just plain needs to be lied to. * Renting a child so you can make cheese in their armpits. * Did Jim finally rent the Playstation? * Going to the place to rent a Playstation and they immediately ask for your Social Security Number. * It's hot inside the Playstation, and the bugs are cold. * Just doing the poem about Data's cat Spot every episode. * The warlock dominatrix Harley Quinn voice that you make everybody listen to. * Oh I'm sorry, I thought the ceiling was your ass. * Telling your friends about the guy who said he thought the ceiling was your ass and asking them what it means and they just respond with the grapes emoji. * Games that have both Booty and The Wizard. * The scrawny wizard from Zwackery. * Whether chewing your food is a spell. * Listening to Topic Lords for all the mouth sounds. * Constantly rehydrating this child so that he can make the whole house wet. * Starving zombie apocalypse survivors taking the child seats out of a car so they can turn them upside down and shake all the gummy bears out. * A poem with a pangram rhyme scheme. * Bone-anchored hearing aids. * Bringing a topic list to a first date. * Waiting until your last day of insurance and bursting into the OR like the Kool-Aid Man. * Your surgeon quitting the industry immediately after seeing the inside of your head. * Performatively pressing your hearing aid's nonfunctional volume button. * Your wife violating HIPAA to tell you a hilarious work story. * Accidentally installing Bonzi Buddy on your hearing aid. * Marrying an audiologist to get the best possible hearing aid. * Going to zoom.ca to rev up your savings. * Performance Acura North Mississauga. * Adapting Eliza into a game where you're trying to trick Smaug into giving up his hoard. * Making a joke about a banana slug actually bring a plantain slug. * It is the 90s and there is time for Rifftrax.
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    1 h y 4 m
  • 298. Rawdogging Life

    298. Rawdogging Life
    Jul 7 2025
    Lords: * Mark * https://wyrmburden.bandcamp.com/album/strange-sorcerous * Shirley * https://shop.naturmacht.com/sorcerot-merch/sorceroet-rotten-magick-vinyl-crowdfunding-lim Topics: * Music League * Shaping the Head Like a Japanese Watermelon * Kugelmugel * https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kugelmugel * Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley * https://www.emilyperlkingsley.com/welcome-to-holland * Using drugs in 2025 * https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:UStimeline.Drugsinvolvedinoverdosedeaths.jpg Microtopics: * Wyrm Burden. * Metal bands running out of cool word combinations. * Checking Metal Archives. * Canadian atmospheric sludge metal. * Sorcerot. * Crowdfunding a vinyl pressing because your label refuses to pay for it. * Music that is not on Spotify. * How many Music Leagues you're part of right now. * A competition to see who has the best taste in music. * A song about a horse. * Adversarial Music League. * Posting on the internet with the goal of getting the same number of upvotes and downvotes. * Benign Hypotonia and the Floppy Baby. * Wearing a helmet 23 hours a day to adjust the shape of your skull. * Heads that smell like feet. * A very head-shaped head. * Babies that look like the Gary Oldman character in The Fifth Element. * A cone-shaped otter. * Zorg and Zord. * What kind of gear is this baby on? * Eat clen, tren hard. * Collecting as many physical therapists as possible. * A sweet little guy who's having a great time. * Putting on your resume your first word and the age you first walked. * Parent influencers with bad takes. * A baby that expands to the size of its container, so they'll stay baby sized forever unless you move into a bigger house. * Listen, have you ever evaluated anything? It's not easy. * Vibes-Based Medicine. * Declaring your metal sphere a micronation. * Closing the borders of your 8 meter micronation during COVID. * Building a house that looks like a ball. * Declaring your new house a micronation after the city refuses to grant you a building permit. * Antifascism Square. * Declaring your baby paddock a micronation. * A very good basically-a-poem. * Disabilities that are worse than going to Holland. * Trying to figure out how to live with the life you have. * Making peace with the fact that you didn't achieve all your dreams. * Divisive takes about sleep training. * Outcomes associated with prolonged cortisol exposure. * Category One Squawking. * Spending six years figuring out how to get your kid to fall asleep. * The term they invented to remind parents that just because things are good now, that doesn't mean they stay good forever, which is true for everything, but for children sleeping they have a specific term for it. * Getting real sad and going home. * Trying to take any drug except for fentanyl. * Fentanyl test strips from reliable suppliers. * If Coolio isn't safe, who is? * Narcan vending machines. * Walking down the street like you have Narcan in your pocket. * The terrifying gray line that dominates the entire graph. * A credible threat to a lot of recreational drug users. * Finally inventing the nightmare drug that DARE wanted you to be terrified of. * Nostalgia for street heroin. * The role that dopamine plays in human behavior. * A dogshit drug even from a drug enjoyer's perspective. * The only internet you even like any more.
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    1 h y 23 m
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