Too American, Too Foreign: Identity, Belonging & Emotional Intelligence

Is it dangerous to treat emotional intelligence as a universal standard?”

We talk about emotional intelligence like it’s neutral, universal, and the same for everyone. But what happens when culture, race, migration, language, and survival literally shape how we express feelings, set boundaries, and show respect?

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Payal Beri sits down with Farah Harris, a Haitian American psychotherapist, emotional intelligence expert, and founder of Working Well Daily, to explore why EQ can never be “one-size-fits-all” for people of color.

They dive into:

• Growing up Haitian in the U.S. and feeling “too American” back home, but “too foreign” in America
• First-born / “junior parent” pressure in immigrant families
• Language, accents, and mother-tongue shame
• Why we don’t “season our chicken” the same — and what that has to do with EQ
• How cultural values shape grieving, anger, “respect,” and emotional expression
• Why Black and Brown kids are taught to mute their feelings for survival in white-dominant systems

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite belong anywhere — not in your parents’ homeland, not fully in the country you live in — or you’ve been misread as “too loud,” “too much,” or “too cold,” this episode will help you reclaim your emotional language with context, compassion, and power.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Is EQ really universal?
• Haitian American, oldest daughter, third culture kid
• Language, accents & mother-tongue shame
• “We don’t season chicken the same”
• Culture, values & how we grieve
• Bias, projection & the “two-sided mirror”
• Technology, capitalism & chronic reactivity
• Third culture kids & global mutts
• Safety vs. self-expression for kids of color
• From judgment to curiosity

By the end, you’ll walk away with a reframed understanding of emotional intelligence: not as a rigid checklist, but as a context-rich, culturally-rooted way of relating to yourself and others.

Connect with Farah Harris:

• Website: workingwelldaily.com
• LinkedIn: search “Farah Harris LCPC”

Book: The Color of Emotional Intelligence (available where books are sold & on Audible)

Connect with Dr. Payal Beri & Reframing Perspectives:

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• Speaking & Media: https://www.payalberi.com