The very latest statistics make it clear that, given the pervasiveness of organised crime worldwide, at least 2 regular listeners of Three Bean Salad must be directly involved in some Mob or other (and most likely at a middle-management level). But who are they? And do they know each other? Are they sworn enemies or, given their shared life experience, might they be able to develop a soul-nourishing friendship if they could only drop the street tough outer crust for 5 ruddy minutes??!! Ta very much to Diogo of Lisbon for gifting this week’s topic to the Bean Machine (which is organised crime obvs).

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Tickets for our live shows at Machynlleth Comedy Fest:

Saturday 2nd May - https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/three-bean-salad-live-at-machfest-2026/

Sunday 3rd May - https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/three-bean-salad-podcast-live-at-machfest-2026/

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Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

How and where and why and when and if do you wash your undergarments? Presumably this is a conversation Douglas from Michigan wishes to prompt across the world as he top-loads laundry into the bean machine and sets it to lukewarm without a second thought as to whether or not Bonjo’s in the middle of boil washing his banjo britches.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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The beans return refreshed, carefully groomed and oiled in all the right places for a new season of lukewarm banter. First up: neighbours, courtesy of Nicole of Oregon. Tune in for a heady mix of truth bombs and real talk washed down with half a pint of nitty-gritty.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Tickets for our live streams for our London tour date: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-6-dec-online/

Bonjo's House Of Pain: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-presents-bonjos-house-of-pain-live-online-stream/

and Ratmas: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-presents-ratmas-live-online-stream/

New merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

For Mike's tour info: www.mrmikewozniak.com

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December)

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Tickets for our Glasgow show, plus live streams for our London tour date, Bonjo's House Of Pain and Ratmas: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of mindfulness)

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Tickets for our Glasgow show, plus live streams for our London tour date, Bonjo's House Of Pain and Ratmas: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

As our days grow shorter and our ear hair grows longer what better to reflect upon than the righteous placement of bollards and ethical commercial land zoning. Thank you then to Dan from Saint Bremen who has offered up town planning as this week’s source of lukewarm banter. Whatever you think you thought you remembered you knew about town planning, prepare to have a cost-effective, zero-emission, fully-accessible ideas-tramway built right through the middle of it.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

To watch Benjamin's short film, Daddy Superior, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY2xsuHcDkI

For Mike's tour info: www.mrmikewozniak.com

Tickets for our Glasgow show, plus live streams for our London tour date, Bonjo's House Of Pain and Ratmas: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

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Even the most disciplined podcasters in the world are susceptible to the occasional whoopsie. So it is with this episode which, owing to circumstances outside but mostly inside the beans’ control, contains no listener topic suggestion but does contain a discourse on donkey milk soap which probably would have come up from the bean machine soon enough anyway to be fair.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Tickets for our UK TOUR available here: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

It’s a lukewarm take on the Antarctic this week owing to the actions of Mark from near Colliers Wood. We all know that the Antarctic holds strong appeal for scientists who either A) can’t work out how else to avoid a conventional domestic life or B) are waiting out the clock on a statute of limitations in their home nation. But what on Earth is in it for the penguins? What have they got to prove? And do their feet ever stick to the ice when they have a waddle-pause? Answers on a postcard please and in the meantime enjoy what we assume is a world first: a podcast episode recorded by people actually physically in the same room.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Tickets for our UK TOUR available here: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod