Old and surly curmudgeon Mr. Killup is home alone on his most hated night of the year, Halloween. His job is simple: hand out candy to trick or treaters while his caretaker son Michael works the night shift, but even this proves to be too much for this Halloween-hater and takes his disdain out on the kids. Little does he know, his treatment of the trick-or-treaters gets the attention of something mysterious, and it's not happy at all with his unfestive attitude.

Join Velina and Zach on one of the most Halloween-flavored episodes of the series and one of the most quintessential “Tales of the Darkside” episodes in the series. So grab a bucket of Goblin-Candy, because this episode proves why tricks come first when trick-or-treating.

Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: Summerween Gravity Falls

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Fiancees Linda and Doug just acquired a massive 4-story home and are knee-deep in renovations, there’s just one glaring problem: The tenant, a benevolent voodoo witch doctor Mars Gillis, refuses to leave his home on the Parlor Floor Front, and renter’s laws prevent them from booting him out. Will the couple be able to illegally evict the paying tenant and claim the whole home for themselves or will there be a much higher cost to their actions than they first thought?

Join Velina and Zach in an episode so unexpectedly good, they question why they ever forgot it as they dive into the subject of gentrification and the real people it harms. So grab your gold jewelry and a suitcase full of underwear, cause rent’s due and the spirits don’t take cash.Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: Princess and the Frog

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Death row inmate Billy Malone is nearing the end of his wait for his turn on the electric chair, recounting to the reporter the events that led him to his current predicament. It all started with an earthquake that caused a volcano to appear in his basement and a metal ring inside it that had the power to lead to different worlds, when ultimately it spits out a """Ditzy""" woman who can’t communicate with him. Will this creep get the child in a woman’s body and find his freedom when all hope seems lost, or will he take a spin on the ultimate time-out chair?

Join Velina and Zach on one of our most hated episodes of the series as we dive into not only the episode’s god-awful attempt at the noir genre, but also its usage of one of the most deplorable tropes that we are unfortunate enough to know about: Born Sexy Yesterday as our minds unravel trying to piece the plot together since the writers didn't care to. So grab your final meal and say a prayer, because this episode makes us wish we were the ones fried on the chair.

Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: FBI Open Up! clip

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Filthy rich CEO Ben Martin has a bit of a problem: his near constant anger and stress is killing him, but that’s a problem a mysterious salesman comes to fix. A miraculous medical device, the Lifebomb, is designed to keep its wearer alive, no matter how severe of a medical emergency they have. Will Mr. Martin be able to delay the inevitable, denying death its claim over him, or perhaps there is a worse fate than death?

Join Velina and Zach as they dive into the vile Darkside of real life: medical insurance! Delight in the poignant and sadly still topical subject matter that this episode digs into. So grab some antacids and a glass of milk (or Mylanta?), getting a life assurance policy has never been easier!

Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: Dr. Bertruger There is no death for you-Doom 3

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Local Impressionist Spiffy Remo runs a comedy(?) routine impersonating celebrities so well, it gets the attention of less-than-savory government figures who need him for a once-in-a-lifetime arrangement. The Mission? Communicate with a captive alien and get it to reveal the secrets to nuclear fusion, but time is ticking away as the atmosphere is slowly killing the otherworldly visitor. Will the mystery of limitless power die with the alien, or will Spiffy Remo pull off his most challenging impression yet?

Join Velina and Zach for what can only be described as the Tales from the Darkside episode of all time.

So take a seat behind the one-way mirror, this one is certainly A way to kick off Season 2 of the show...

Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: Independence Day (1996)

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Cassie is a superstitious woman who never makes a decision without consulting a fortune-telling machine. While she is on a quest for her sagittarius, she stops at a bus stop diner and discovers another fortune telling machine, Horace X. However, Horace X warns her that she should not continue her path and warns her of a false prophet. What is she to do? Will she listen to the cult leader who gets way too handsy? Or will she listen to the fortune-telling machine who also gets way too handsy?

Velina and Zach will be your guides to this exciting and uncomfortable season finale of Tales from the Darkside. Join us as we delve into what makes this old, dusty bus stop feel like the future site of a crime scene and how this episode is way better than you might initially think. So grab your lucky rabbit’s foot and consult your local soothsayer, because this one gets wild in all sorts of

unfortunate ways.

Host = Zachariah Zachariah

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: House of Whacks, Treehouse of Horror XII, The Simpsons

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Grandma is old. So when she causes an accident at the dinner table with her obnoxious family, the first thing the family thinks to do is ship her off to a retirement home. Before she goes, however, the family wants to make the next week good for her so they decide to throw her a party at which she makes a wish. Will she end up being carted away to the old folks home or will her wish play into her fate?

Join Velina and Zach as they try to survive this episode’s constant barrage of yelling and weird familial relationships, all topped off with an oddly cruel twist like contact solution with a lemon squeeze. So grab some prune juice and a ricola, because this one gets loud constantly and we are both suffering immensely. Somebody help us.

Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: 20,000 Patties Under The Sea-Spongebob Squarepants

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Bigelow wakes on any normal day and goes through his normal routine: Drink some coffee and light up a cigarette. Except, he discovers that he is living in a recreation of his house and the windows and doors are all barred shut. Then a man appears on the television screen and tells Bigalow that he signed up for an addiction curing program and this is all a part of it. The man on the screen tells him that he must give up smoking or face the consequences. Bigelow then learns the hard way what kind of punishments the program has in store for him. The real question is which will break first: the cigarette addiction or Bigelow?

Join Velina and Zach on this journey of self-help as they watch a man be broken piece by piece all in the name of stopping his addiction to smoking. So grab some coffee and a nicotine patch, this one is a bumpy ride on the straight-and-narrow.

Host = Zach Zachariary

Host = Velina Velenghiskhan

Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio

Ending clip: Keeping Up With Our Joneses-King of the Hill

Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com