Things I Would Have Done Differently // Onwards and Upwards, Part 2

As you look back on this last year, I wonder … what would you have done differently? It's worth thinking about, because whilst you can't wind the clock back and do them over, a bit of reflection can help you think about how you're going to handle things in the new year ahead. Well, here we are in this week between Christmas and New Year. It's a funny kind of week, really, looking back on the year that's just been and with the other part of us looking forward at the year that might be. But sometimes the thing that stops us from really getting on and living this next year to the full – is the regret of the year that's just been or maybe the year before or maybe the year before that. We all do things that later we regret. I wonder if I were to ask you to look back over this last year and pick just three things that you regret. What would they be? I truly believe that sometimes we need to look back before we can look forward. Now, I'm not one for living in the past and wallowing in regret. But regret is a funny thing. Regret is about lost opportunities. If only I hadn't done, if only I'd done this and a related word is reproach. It's a sense of blame or guilt that hangs over us from the past because of the mistakes we made, the things we should have done but didn't, the things we could have done but didn't and the things we did but we shouldn't have done. And those three things they bear bad fruit in our lives. They cause pain. It's interesting. There's a prayer in the Old Testament of the Bible, 1 Chronicles chapter 4. It's called The Prayer of Jabez and one of the things that Jabez prays is: Lord keep me from evil that I would not cause any pain. (1 Chronicles 4:10) When you and I do dumb things which we do from time to time, it causes pain, either to us or the people around us or in fact, to both. And as we sit here looking forward to a new year, let's just cast our eyes back on the year that's been and think, what are the things that bring that sense of reproach, that sense of regret on our lives? And truly unless we deal with the regret, the reproach of the past, we just can't move on and enjoy – I mean really enjoy the future. Actually this is quite a common problem. All sorts of people spend their lives carrying around all sorts of baggage that is best left in the past. Yesterday, on A Different Perspective, we talked about taking stock of the year that's just been. On the one side of the page, listing all the positives, all the wonderful things that have happened in life. I don't know about you but I look back on my life and I think, "Gee! This last year has been a wonderful year". It's been a tough year, it's been a hard year too but there are so many things I can look back on and think, "God's blessed me here and this has been wonderful and that's been wonderful." And then on the other side of the page, listing the negatives, the downers, the bad things that have happened either outside of our control that has impacted on us like the London bombing. I mean imagine sitting on the bus at Taverstock Square and all of a sudden the bomb goes off. Nothing that anybody other than the bomber himself could have done about that. Sometimes bad things happen to us that are completely beyond our control. Other times, bad things happen to us because buggerlugs me or buggerlugs you, do some stupid things. And there are a whole bunch of different areas in our lives where we could be harbouring regret. Maybe you've worked too hard this year and haven't spent enough time with your family. Maybe there's been a relationship breakdown, just not enough time invested in that relationship. What opportunities did we miss last year? It's a funny thing how this regret just hangs over us. And you know what we then try and do? We try to deny the root cause. We all do that. We don't want to acknowledge that maybe we had a part to play in this thing. We don't want to own up, we don't want to be frank and open and say, "Hang on, if I had done this better, if I hadn't been so selfish, if I hadn't been so critical, you know maybe it wouldn't have been that bad, maybe it wouldn't have happened at all." And then we rationalise it away and we blame other people. We blame circumstances. One of the things I always have to do is watch my weight. I have to watch what I eat, just my genetics, who I am, who my father was, who my grandfather was, I have to watch what I eat. And often, when I'm travelling as I do for the work and ministry that I do, it's easy to say, "Well, you know I'm travelling and I can't really control what I get served on the plane. And I have to eat where I have to eat". It's really easy to blame everybody else. Actually, it is possible to watch what I eat when I am travelling. And I had to come to a point in my life when I said, "I'm going to stop blaming everybody else and I'm going to take responsibility for this". Sometimes we have to do some radical surgery, we have to say, "I'm sorry, we have to clear ...