They’re Probably Not Mad at You (Let’s Talk Mind Reading)

In this episode, we’re launching a brand-new series on cognitive distortions—those sneaky thinking habits that twist reality and sabotage our peace. First up: Mind Reading. Nope, not the superpower kind—the kind where you assume others are judging you, mad at you, or talking about you… with zero actual proof.

We’ll unpack why this common thought trap is so emotionally draining, how it affects our mental and spiritual health, and give you practical (and biblical!) tools to stop the spiral. It’s time to take your thoughts captive, believe the best about others, and retrain your brain for freedom.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:19] What cognitive distortions are & why they matter

[03:10] How mind reading shows up in everyday life

[03:34] The emotional toll of assumption-based thinking

[04:33] When “reading the room” is helpful vs. harmful

[05:56] Biblical wisdom for transforming your thoughts

[08:07] 5 practical ways to stop mind reading and start living free

[10:39] Choose Life Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Mind reading is a common cognitive distortion — It happens when we assume we know what others are thinking—especially when we assume it's something negative about us—without real evidence.

These assumptions are usually wrong and emotionally draining — They lead to anxiety, insecurity, social avoidance, hurt feelings, or even conflict… all based on guesswork.

Your thoughts aren’t always facts — Just because it feels true doesn’t mean it is true. Feelings are real, but they’re not always reliable indicators of truth.

The Bible encourages renewing your mind — Scripture calls us to take thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5), think on what’s true (Phil. 4:8), and believe the best about others (1 Cor. 13:7).

Most people aren’t thinking about you that much — And that’s actually freeing. People are generally caught up in their own worlds—not obsessing over yours.

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

DeRubeis, R. J., Hollon, S. D., Amsterdam, J. D., Shelton, R. C., Young, P. R., Salomon, R. M., ... & Gallop, R. (2005). Cognitive therapy vs medications in the treatment of moderate to severe depression. Archives of General Psychiatry, 62(4), 409–416. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.62.4.409

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

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I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.