The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute

In a humorous yet rigorous longitudinal cohort study, researchers at an Australian medical institute investigated the mysterious disappearance of teaspoons from staff tearooms. By tracking seventy numbered spoons over several months, the authors calculated a half-life of 81 days for the utensils, with higher attrition rates occurring in communal spaces compared to private departmental kitchens. The data revealed that the cost or quality of the spoons did not prevent their loss, leading to a significant annual expense to maintain basic cutlery levels. To explain these findings, the authors applied socioeconomic concepts like the tragedy of the commons alongside more whimsical theories involving extraterrestrial spoon worlds. Ultimately, the study concludes that the constant attrition of office supplies negatively impacts workplace satisfaction and efficiency.