Here I Am — Week 4: Shadows and Growth

We all have patterns that work against us. We know what we should do, and somehow we don't do it. We want to show up differently, and we fall back into the same old habits. We get in our own way.

In Week 4 of our Lenten series, Pastor Alex turns to a vulnerable and honest portrait of Paul — Romans 7:15–25 — where he names this very experience with raw, unguarded clarity: I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. From that honest place, this episode explores what the Enneagram calls our "shadow side" — the patterns of fear, fixation, and self-protection that live in each type — and asks what it means that God meets us not after we've fixed those things, but right in the middle of them. Because shadows don't disqualify us. And growth in Christ is part of discovering what we're called to.

Episode 14 | Here I Am, Week 3: “Identity in Christ: Known, Named, and Loved”

In Week 3 of Here I Am, Pastor Alex reflects on 2 Corinthians 5:16–21 and the promise that in Christ, we are a new creation. Building on the last two episodes’ focus on God’s identity and our being fully known by God, this episode explores what it means to root our identity in Christ while also honoring the real patterns, gifts, and perspectives that shape who we are. Along the way, Pastor Alex reflects on the Enneagram as a tool for understanding ourselves with honesty and grace, considers how each type reflects something of God’s image, and shares a personal story about calling, discernment, and a life-changing basket of tortilla chips.

This episode is an invitation to discover the freedom of transformation, the grounding of belovedness, and the possibility that the very ways God has created us may become instruments of reconciliation in the world.

“Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: Being Known” (Episode 13 | Here I Am, Week 2)

In this second episode of our Lenten series Here I Am, Pastor Alex reflects on Psalm 139 and the deep, steady promise that God knows us completely—our thoughts, our fears, our joy, and even the parts of ourselves we try to hide. What does it feel like to be fully seen and still fully loved? And how might that truth reshape the way we speak to ourselves, treat our limits, and live with greater freedom? This episode offers an overview of the nine Enneagram types as a faithful tool for noticing patterns—not to label or fix ourselves, but to grow in self-awareness held within grace. This week’s invitation: take an Enneagram assessment prayerfully, and listen for what helps you live as someone who is already fearfully and wonderfully made.

Here's a prayer for those taking an Enneagram assessment:

First, read Psalm 139:1-18, then pray,

God who knows me completely,

As I reflect on these questions,

help me answer honestly and gently.

Free me from the need to perform or impress.

Help me notice patterns not with judgment,

but with curiosity and grace.

Amen.

Enneagram Assessments you can take:

A very solid free version: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test

A Paid Version Through the Enneagram Institute

Episode 012 — “I Am Who I Am: Beginning with God”

Who are you—really? And what happens when the roles, titles, and accomplishments we use to define ourselves begin to shift? In this opening episode of the Here I Am Lenten series, Pastor Alex Zuber begins where Scripture begins: not with us, but with God. Grounded in Exodus 3 and God’s self-revelation as I AM WHO I AM, this conversation invites listeners to explore identity rooted in being rather than doing. Along the way, we gently introduce the Enneagram as a tool for noticing patterns—not to label or fix ourselves, but to grow in awareness, grace, and freedom as beloved children of God.

Episode 11: NOTHING, with readings from Exodus 20:1-17; 1 Corinthians 1:18-25; and John 2:13-22

Reading: 2 Kings 2:1-12

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

1. Who is someone who has helped you know God? What do you remember about them?
2. Who is someone you’ve shared your faith with and supported?
3. Who could be a mentor for you now if you don’t have one, and who is someone you can build up in your community?

Readings included in this episode are Genesis 17:1–7, 15–16 and Mark 8:31-38

With a focus on Exodus 3:1-15, here's a devotional reflection that asks the question: What is the flame of your faith like today?

Reflection QUESTIONS

1. How do you answer the question: Who is God? Or, how have YOU known God?
2. What does it mean to you that God knows us by name, and have you ever felt God’s call?
3. How does the Endless Identity of God IGNITE faith in you, your family, your church, and/or your community?