The Weak Mans War on Women and Femininity

We have all heard of the male loneliness epidemic by now. We have not had much of a choice but to hear about it because, well, the news has drilled it into our skulls in a similar way that they made an entire generation fear millennials and marijuana. It seems as if everywhere you look, the male loneliness plague is taking over the headlines of newspapers and the nine o'clock news. Author Shannon Carpenter states, We hear a lot these days about men not finding the kind of deep friendship that helps them through the ups and downs of life the way many women do...In the United States, many men have become disconnected from the societal institutions that have anchored dads to each other and our community. These are compelling words to be sure. There is no doubting that. They steer you toward this kind of empathy for men in general. But the question then becomes why. Why are men experiencing this loneliness. As a man myself, initially I wanted to point the finger at society. It becomes quite easy to say that women do not pay attention to me enough or that women in human resources are conspiring against us men folk to create a more feminine working environment. It is always easier to blame an enemy than it is to own up to your own failures as a human being. But the truth, as always, is much more complex than that. I truly believe that if you were to completely remove feminism from society today that most men would still be lonely because men themselves have always struggled with creating meaningful relationships. I can recall very vividly the first time I really tried to show affection to my father, and how oddly hesitant he was to receive it. I was seven or eight, still quite young at the time. I remember my dad sitting on an old green recliner we had at the time. My mother was there too. I had just kissed her on the cheek, which I had always done, and figured I would kiss my father as well for once. After all, he took care of me too. I wanted to show him I appreciated that just as much as I did my mother. After I kissed him, he gently pushed me away, saying, okay Chris, as if to say, that's enough of that. Don't do that again please. And you know what. I didn't. It was embarrassing being pushed away like that, having someone I loved essentially tell me that I was loving him the wrong way. Men do this all the time. They do it with their sons. They do it with their friends when they call them gay for giving them a hug. They do it to their lovers when they push them away when they try to cuddle with them. They do it acquaintances and coworkers and political adversaries when they mock everything that is even slightly feminine or refer to women in negative ways. The message is clear. Get away from me. I hate love and companionship. I view those things as being anti male and do not desire any of them. Leave me alone. In short, you get what you ask for. If you are going to communicate to the world that you are a closed off, go it alone, emotionally unintelligent individual, then you are going to be lonely. There is no way around that and you, my dear man, brought that on yourself. You see, male loneliness is not new. It was handed down to us by our fathers and their fathers before them, men who used words like gay and queer to describe any physical form of affection outside of a hearty handshake. But I have good news for you too because loneliness is also a choice. You can choose to be in a healthy emotional relationship with those in your community by simply dropping the alpha male shit or the longer introvert act. Just knock it off. Recognize that you are human being who needs care and affection, that that stuff is not just for girls. And if you want a woman, for crying out loud, be respectful and treat them like they are more than just your concubines. There are solutions to every problem, especially the ones you create for yourself. You are addicted to loneliness. Question is, are you willing to admit that you have a problem.

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