With his phenomenal debut memoir, FRIGHTEN THE HORSES (Roxane Gay Books/Grove Atlantic), Oliver Radclyffe takes us on a journey into trans-selfhood. We talk about the gap between a trans narrator and a cis-het reader, the importance of trans visibility, how his understanding of masculinity and being male have changed, and how he faced down the risks and sacrifices in his life as he transitioned, despite the uncertainty of what lay ahead. We get into how he found the perfect voice for his memoir, the importance of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy on his writing process, his life-defining moment of seeing Justin Vivian Bond, why being raised in privilege explained why he knew so little about the queer world, the surprisingly wonderful support his (conservative Christian) parents gave him throughout his journey, and why the book focuses on his pre-transition life. We also discuss whether he looks at photos of his pre-transition self, how testosterone has affected his life, how gender can shift with age, how the joy of publishing his first book has transformed him (and how he hopes it leads to a long mid-to-late-life writing career), whether he's ready to be an empty-nester, what it means to find validation through performance and defining oneself through relationships, why he identifies as a gender-irrelevant transsexual, and a lot more. Follow Oliver on Instagram and Bluesky and subscribe to his Substack • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Stripe, Patreon, or Paypal, and subscribe to our e-newsletter

No conversation this week, unless you count me talking to myself. This episode, I share some thoughts and memories about my father, following his death last week at the age of 88 — or 87, depending on who he was lying to — along with the eulogy I gave at his funeral. • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Stripe, Patreon, or Paypal, and subscribe to our e-newsletter

How did Russian Jews wind up migrating to Galveston, Texas in the early 1900s? How did the image of America as melting pot come into existence? How did a family memoir evolve into a forgotten history of Zionism? Find out during my conversation with Rachel Cockerell about her amazing new book, MELTING POINT: Family, Memory, and the Search for a Promised Land (FSG)! We talk about the tightrope walk of composing a history solely out of primary sources and why she eschewed the author's voice for this book, her grudging acceptance of Robert Caro's maxim to Turn Every Page, and how her perspective on Jewishness changed over the course of writing the book. We get into the once-titanic literary figure of Israel Zangwill and how he gave it up to find a homeland for the world's Jews, how Zangwill invented the notion of the melting pot and whether he truly believed in assimilationism, the inspiration of George Saunders' Lincoln in the Bardo on Melting Point, and how Rachel got over the notion that the past was just a lead-up to now. We also discuss her next book on Halley's Comet and whether she'll stick with her primary sources-mode in future books, how her family reacted to seeing their stories (& contradictions) on the page, how a 90-year-old distant relative stole the show, and a lot more. Follow Rachel on Instagram and Bluesky • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Stripe, Patreon, or Paypal, and subscribe to our e-newsletter