Send a text

In this episode Michael and I chat Daisy Ridley's We Bury the Dead, a movie we have been looking forward to for such a long while. Both huge fans of not only Ridley but also Brenton Thwaites (Teen Titans, Office Uprising, Ghosts of War).

Ava and Mitch are having marital issues, that they plan to address when Mitch returns from a work conference on Tasmania. But the US military accidentally drops a weapon of mass destruction off the coast wiping out the entire population of the islands.

Ava wants to know what happened to Mitch so volunteers to be part of the human relief programme that in conjunction with the Australian military with the idea she will be able look for him when she can. She is part of the effort to find, identify and dispose of the hundreds of thousands of bodies.

From the off the military explain in a briefing that some of the dead come back. And they do... and we see them...

Hear our thought here.

Send a text

We have had zombie outbreaks whilst on international flights, we have had zombie outbreaks at a wedding, at a school trip to a petting zoo, and here, we have a bad daytime TV soap opera affair story, set in LA, at Christmas during the zombie apocalypse.

The menage-a-trois, complete with daytime TV soap piano, and awful dialog is between overly macho and difficult asshole cop Frank Talbot, his yoyoing wife Sarah who goes between Frank and his younger more handsome, but clearly morally questionable partner Nash.

There is too much of this going on. We start with Sarah separating from Frank and going to Nash, but when Nash loses a toe, that Frank cauterizes, she ends up in bed with Frank, then Nash when he wakes up, then Frank again after she shouts and attracts the zombies, then Nash again when they get drunk and Frank heads out to supposedly find supplies but never gets any, before Frank again when he is back after shooting Nash by mistake, and Frank needs a wound cauterized. Too much cauterizing, not enough using the first aid kit in their squad car outside.

We do get Lew Temple (The Walking Dead and Zombex) and Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp) and Vernon Wells (Commando and Mad Max 2), but they are but fleeting moments of IMDBery. None of them bringing much to the movie at all.

And the zombies? Lumpy faced contact lens wearers, the colour of the lenses denoting if you are a runner or a shambler.

It was poor, none of the characters likable enough for you to care if they live or died.

3.5/10 instead get three TVs and set them up in the same room. Put Days of Our Lives on one TV, a bad cop show on another, and a bad zombie movie on the third and get stoned looking from one TV to the next for similar effect.

Send a text

"For a horror movie "The Curse of Hobbes House" was just unfathomably devoid of anything remotely scary."

Hm.

2020 British, only 3.4/10 on IMDB.

Hm.

The blurb is that “two estranged sisters visit their ancestral home and are confronted by an ancient curse of the undead following a storm.”

The Horror Society, who I rate. wrote about this one that... " this is not a gory flick that most genre fans are looking for. We get some make up effects and a few splashes of blood but nothing that will stand out. Overall the Curse of Hobbes House tries to do what Roger Conner's Rebirth could. Its not a fun or entertaining retelling of a Romero classic. Instead it borrows heavy from the story without contributing. Skip it.”

Hm.

Another reviewer I listen to, The Irish Film Critic gives it 2.5 stars out of 5 mentions a twist… that I kinda want to find out and says that "overall, despite some inventiveness with its zombie iterations, the story is cliched and predictable. The character deaths are not shocking or surprising. If you are a zombie fan you may find merit in it but I found it pretty forgettable."

Great.

So I didn't go into it with high hopes. And I am I didn't. The characters, other then the old woman who puts a gun in her mouth in the opening the scene and her Syrian groundskeeper, were infinitely unlikable. Nigel deserved death from the start and his comeuppance I truly enjoyed. The odd choice for central character was Jane. Jennifer was the much nicer half-sister. I didn't like Jane at all.

The zombies are blue eyes screaming zombies, the exterior shots are often reused daytime history or news worthy, the acting wasn't great, the whole thing really didn't do anything for me. It was a few scumbags trying to make some money off a cursed house. And how many times have we seen that?

4.5/10 and they should thank me for that.