The True Self vs. False Self: Discovering Who You Really Are {Reflections}

Have you ever been caught off guard by the seemingly simple question: "Who are you?" For many of us, we instinctively respond with what we do—our jobs, roles, or accomplishments. But what happens when those external identifiers are stripped away? Who remains?

This episode delves into the transformative concept of the "true self" versus the "false self"—a framework championed by spiritual writers Thomas Merton, Richard Rohr, Henri Nouwen, and Brennan Manning. We explore how our false selves emerge as survival mechanisms, often constructed during vulnerable periods like middle school, when fitting in felt essential. These constructed identities—what Manning calls "the imposter"—may have served us then, but as adults, they often become limitations rather than protections.

Your true self exists beneath these constructs—it's what Rohr describes as "your identity in God, your soul at rest." It's not something you achieve but something you already are. This authentic identity isn't tied to achievements, possessions, or others' opinions of you. The journey toward living from this place involves compassionately acknowledging your false self's protective purpose while gently moving it from the center of your identity. This integration allows your authentic, untethered self to emerge—the "free person in the world" that Manning describes.

The world desperately needs people living from their true selves. When we operate from our false identities, others never truly know us; they only know our masks. But when we dare to live authentically, we create space for others to do the same. Take a moment today to reflect: Who are you beyond all your attachments, insecurities, and performances? That's the person the world is waiting to meet. Share this episode with someone who might need this message of freedom and authenticity today.

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