What if the parts of you that feel anxious, critical, or overwhelming aren’t problems to fix, but parts of you trying, in their own way, to protect you?

In this episode, Caitlin is joined by Alex, a London-based psychotherapist working with Internal Family Systems (IFS). For professional confidentiality reasons, Alex’s voice is performed by an actor, but the insights shared are very real and deeply practical.

Together, they explore how IFS helps us understand inner conflict by recognising that we are not a single, unified voice, but a system of “parts” each with its own role, fears, and good intentions. Rather than silencing or fighting these parts, IFS invites us to listen to them, befriend them, and restore balance within ourselves.

This is an episode about self-acceptance, compassion, and understanding that being torn is not a failure, but a sign that different parts of you are trying to help in different ways.

Books Recommended:

• Self Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Inner Wholeness Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Therapy. By Jay Earley
• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. By Richard Schwartz.
• Also find No Bad Parts via our We Love filter in our resources section

Resources to help you work out if professional help is needed, and how to go about finding it:

• Do I need professional support
• When giving support isn’t enough
• We love: Befrienders Worldwide
• 
  

—

Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when who you are feels unsafe to be known?

In this episode of The Torn Podcast, we share Ian’s story, which is a powerful, long-arc journey of inner conflict shaped by growing up gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal in the UK. Narrated by an actor to protect anonymity, Ian’s story traces decades of tension between inner truth and external danger: family expectations, religious pressure, fear of punishment, and the very real threat of violence.

Susan and Caitlin reflect on Ian’s experiences through the lens of inner conflict, exploring shame, secrecy, identity, and the slow, non-linear process of coming to terms with who you are. They look at how context, relationships, and community can either trap us in conflict or help us move through it, and why some conflicts don’t disappear so much as soften, settle, and become integrated over time.

This is an episode about patience, self-compassion, and the courage it takes to keep unfolding even when safety is never guaranteed. A reminder that being torn is not a failure, and that resolution doesn’t always mean certainty, but peace.

Content note: This episode discusses historical criminalisation of homosexuality, stigma, and the threat of violence.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What really happens inside us when we’re torn? After analysing over 120 real stories of inner conflict, the Torn Project team noticed something unexpected: a shared pattern running through every account. In this episode, they introduce The Torn Journey, a seven-stage map that traces how inner conflict first stirs, how it intensifies, where we get stuck, and how resolution can become possible.

In this episode, Susan and Caitlin walk us through each stage: from unconscious unease and conscious awareness, through information-gathering and experimentation, to the tipping point, the forks in the road, and the final resolution. This is an episode about understanding yourself with more compassion, trusting the process when things feel confusing, and recognising that being torn is not a failure but one way in which we grow.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between choices, unsure what step comes next, or overwhelmed by the emotional weight of decision-making, this episode offers reassurance, a route map, and a powerful framework for navigating the journey.

—

Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.