The Silent Crisis

If you're a new dad and you’ve been feeling like a stranger in your own home, or if the joy you expected has been replaced by a heavy, silent struggle, this episode is for you. You aren't a 'bad dad,' and you aren't weak. You are navigating a massive neurological, hormonal, and lifestyle shift that no one warned you about. There is hope and there are answers.Dr. Shoshannah Guerrero has her PhD. in Marriage and Family Therapy and Dr Rachael Schmitz is the sole author for her first publication within the American Journal of Nursing on her dissertation work, the lived experience of fathers with paternal postpartum depression.You can contact Dr Schmitz at [e-mail] can reach Dr. Guerrero at [e-mail] thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastrhttps://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge00:05.55Jonathan GuerreroWe've all seen the commercials. the new The new dad glowing with pride, effortlessly rocking and a sleeping infant while his life... while his life feels perfectly in sync.00:16.89Jonathan GuerreroBut for many men, the reality of the new fatherhood looks and feels very different. Instead of a glow, there's a fog. Instead of instant connection, there's a crushing sense of isolation, irritability, or the feeling that you're falling ah that you're failing a task, that you're failing a test that you didn't even know you were taking.00:38.55Jonathan GuerreroIn our culture, we expect dads to be the rock. We are told to man up, to support the mother, to bury our own struggles under the weight of provision. But the data tells us a different story.00:50.74Jonathan GuerreroOne in 10 fathers will experience paternal postpartum depression. And yet, because it often shows up as anger or withdrawal rather than sadness, it goes undiagnosed and untreated.01:04.73Jonathan GuerreroIf you've been feeling like a stranger in your own home, or if the joy you expected has been replaced by a heavy, silent struggle, this episode is for you. You aren't a bad dad, and you aren't weak.01:18.45Jonathan GuerreroYou are navigating a massive neurological, hormonal, and lifestyle shift that no one warned you about. There is hope, and there are answers in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.01:33.18Jonathan GuerreroGreetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me in this episode called The Silent Crisis. I have two guests with me. My wife, Dr. Shoshana Guerrero, who has her PhD in marriage and family therapy, and Dr. Rachel Schmitz, the sole author of her first publication within the American Journal of Nursing on her dissertation work, The Lived Experience of Fathers with Paternal Postpartum Depression.01:59.06Jonathan GuerreroWelcome to the Fatherhood Challenge.02:01.75Rachael Schmitz Thank you.02:03.06Jonathan GuerreroThanks so much. So let's talk about, Rachel, let's start with you. You've noted that for men, depression is often, it often looks like sadness.02:13.88Jonathan GuerreroIt looks like a short fuse sometimes. Why does the male brain often funnel emotional pain into irritability or rage? And how can a dad tell the difference between new parent stress and clinical postpartum depression? Yeah.02:30.39Rachael Schmitz So for fathers, um they don't often manifest in the ways that we think about when we think about depression. Most people, when you talk to them about depression, they think about sadness, crying, a lot of those very typical depressive type symptoms. In fathers, they can manifest in very different ways, like you said. The reason behind that I found in my study was that a lot of the men felt very isolated.03:01.85Rachael Schmitz They felt very confused. They felt very frustrated by the um transition. They didn't really feel prepared. um a lot of them felt very helpless.03:14.07Rachael Schmitz um So a lot of different things happening at the same time, causing a lot of those different symptoms. And for some of the fathers in particular, they um identified the depression because they were so irritable or they started being very angry in situations that would not normally make them very angry.03:40.31Jonathan GuerreroInteresting. So they did they recognize that even they basically recognize this even in themselves, they could tell when those symptoms were coming on.03:50.01Rachael Schmitz They did, and oftentimes it was their partner that just said, you know, I noticed that you are not really yourself. ah Maybe you're isolating a little bit.04:03.29Rachael Schmitz um So a lot of their partners did recognize some changes, whether they were able to kind of pinpoint what exactly was going on um kind of depended on the relationship. But most of the, uh,04:20.14Rachael Schmitz partners did notice that something was happening.04:25.40Jonathan GuerreroMany dads feel a deep sense of guilt ...