The Session: When Your Spouse is Unfaithful - Part 1

The Session: When Your Spouse is Unfaithful

Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

Forgive with intelligence

Your spouse cheated. Your trust for them has nearly diminished and there's good reason for that. So, you must act accordingly.

The reason why you're looking for ways to forgive your spouse is because your mind isn't allowing you to.

It's playing scenarios in your head of them doing it again and it pains you.

Does investigating your spouse make you a bad person?

If your spouse gave you reasons to be weary of them? No. They broke your trust. All bets are off.

If they lied and betrayed you, why should they get the privilege of being trusted immediately?

They committed the ultimate love crime. And let's face it, some cheaters just get better at hiding it once they've been caught.

Worriedlovers.com

Before proceeding, you should look for evidence of genuine “godly sorrow” (2 Corinthians 7:10) as opposed to the “worldly sorrow” which simply says, “I’m sorry I got caught.” A key indicator of a godly sorrow would include a willingness on the part of your spouse to talk with a marriage counselor who can assess his vulnerabilities, as well as the weaknesses of your relationship.

Confront Honestly

That’s because you need to meet this challenge from a position of strength and self-assurance.

When you’re ready, arrange a time to sit down and talk with your spouse. Choose a private meeting place where you know you won’t be interrupted. Approach the subject honestly and straightforwardly. The crisis in your marriage is emotionally charged but stay calm and cool. To achieve this, most people need to write out what they are going to say.

Often it is necessary to do a more formal intervention, where several people show up to confront the offending spouse at a designated time without his or her foreknowledge. This formal intervention should not be confused with that of individual people confronting your spouse over time.

Prayerfully consider who these people might be and meet with them together ahead of time so that you can explain your situation and provide them with the important facts.

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To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.