Self-criticism can take on a life of its own. And become so constant that you have to fight it on a daily or even hourly basis.

So today we’re going to focus on what may be keeping your self-criticism alive and well in ways that you don't realize.

There are two steps we’ll cover. The first is raising awareness of your own inner self-critical voice. The second is assessing what role or function it may have for you. What purpose might self-criticism have that weirdly protects you in some way or serves a role for you in your life?

For our email, I’ve pulled some excerpts from an email I received from a younger reader who’d read the article on enmeshment I have on my website. She has questions about her relationship with her parents – she finds herself, even in her early 20’s, sharing certain kinds of things with them that her friends don’t share with their parents – and think it’s a little strange that she shares those experiences with hers. Her friends are saying that that’s oversharing – that there are certain things you no longer share with your folks as you grow and develop your own life away from them. Are her friends right?

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!

Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook!

Dr. Margaret's article on covert narcissism

Enmeshment article by Dr. Margaret

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Are you being judgmental? Many of us would quickly say "no" to that question. But how many people do you know one thing about – and one thing only – and you categorize them as “bad” or “good”, "weak" or "strong," "smart" or "not the brightest bulb."

It doesn’t take long for us to form an opinion. And there are obvious situations – such as one where there’s the possibility of harm – where quick judgments are necessary and very helpful.

But what about the kind of judgment that you make because of your own biases? There are two mental mistakes we'll focus on today: confirmation bias and fundamental attribution error. They sound fancy, but many of us make these errors in judgment every day.

So today we’re going to focus on how you judge your own judgmental-ness. Are you using your better judgment? Or are you making quick judgments that are based on biases and assumptions?

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!

Test on the Psychology Today website to rate your own judgmental-ness!

New York Times article on Kristin Cabot

Time article on Monica Lewinsky

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

How do you know if someone with sociopathic traits is playing with your mind? Today on SelfWork we’re going to talk about just that.

The term cognitive dissonance has been around for quite a long time. What it’s describing is when you do something or say something that you believe to be wrong or unkind or unjust. But you do it or say it anyway. So, you’re not following or abiding by the values that you say you have.

But cognitive dissonance can also be caused or created as well through toxic manipulation or what’s termed gaslighting. This is when someone with narcissistic traits or sociopathic ones creates a smokescreen of confounding lies, even telling you one thing is true as well as its opposite, and expecting you to blindly follow. The trap is complete when they prevent you from trusting your own gut or mind or heart. Or guide or lead you away from their manipulation.

It can be paralyzing.

You either must cut yourself off from the value that you hold – or you must become more aware of the manipulation. You must see that it’s happening and how it’s happening. But remember, the actions and manipulations of the person who wants you to be paralyzed are still coming on strong.

Today’s voicemail is from a woman in France who’s asking me about perfectly hidden depression – and in French. I had to get out my translating app because my own French was a little too rusty – but I was pretty much on the mark.

BBC article on the young Elizabeth Holmes

ThriveWorks article on emotional manipulation and sociopathy

Bustle article on games played by those with sociopathic traits

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!