The Self Love Episode

Baring it all with Paisley Daniels - episode 2 - The Self Love Episode - In this episode, we take a little bit of a deep dive into one's mental health as that is so closely tied to sexual health and sexual well-being (something that I am obviously very interested in) and I try to help you talk through ways to incorporate better mental health practices into your own life.

OKAY!! Mental Health Awareness month is May so I only thought it appropriate to throw my two cents into this ongoing and vital conversation! Last week I touch on it this topic slightly with sex facts or fiction and how men’s mental health is typically not a topic of conversation. It needs to be brought into the fold and we need to unlearn that getting mental help doesn’t make you weak or any less of a man. We are all human and need help some days through different aspects of life. What is my strength may not be someone else's and as a human collective we should focus on our strengths and not our weaknesses. Plus sometimes another's person’s experience and eyes can make a situation a whole lot clearer for us to work through!  

So why is there a gender gap in mental health? There is absolutely a divide in the usage of mental health care services. Men consult providers less than women. Simply, I think it’s because women were told that it was okay to cry, to express, to be creative and with that comes all the negative feelings too. Men weren't. Boys were told to be strong, smart, don’t cry, rub some dirt in it and walk away. Not knocking men, there are generations of strong men that made shit happen and then there are men that seek therapy. My point is that all those feelings being stuffed down transfer into adulthood and you are not going to wake up one day able to articulate your feelings if no one told you were okay to do so. It’s the same line of thinking that if parents shelter their kids and not let them grow in their own space and then send them off to college without basic knowledge of the world and how to take care of themselves. They are gonna make mistakes and have no thought process of working through them. They are gonna go wild with freedom. 

Hormones play a lot into that for women and I know everything can be blamed on our hormones, literally, we’re sick of it too. Plus women’s bodies are not their own. If they have children we wreck our bodies to bring them into this world. If your momma is like my momma she threatened to take me out of it too! Women are fucking trash as teenagers and young adults. We are terrible, and borderline narcissistic. I mean all teenagers are narcissistic cause life hasn’t knocked us around yet, we think we’re bulletproof, or at least I did. Tell me your teenage dirtbag story in the comments. And would you have still been a dirtbag if you were given a space to correctly express your feelings? 

So not only are we talking about this because it’s Mental Health Awareness month but I want what little platform I have to speak on that even if you are a strong man, sexy, smart, good job, shitty job, shitty relationship, shitty living situation, shitty spouse or partner you as a person deserves to be okay and it’s okay to not be okay. The Journal of Abnormal Psychology looked at the different types of mental illnesses by gender. Women with anxiety disorders are more likely to internalize emotions- they withdraw, feel lonely, and are depressed. Men will externalize emotions- aggressiveness, impulse control, and noncompliant behavior. Like the buddy that gets a little too drunk and you don’t exactly know what his next move is- he probably needs therapy. 

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