Here's the thing nobody tells you: the way you order at a restaurant says A LOT about how you move through life.

Are you the person who waits to hear what everyone else is getting before you decide? Do you need everyone's opinion before you can choose? Are you picking what you want, and it feels weirdly vulnerable?

Yeah. We need to talk.

In this episode, I sit down with Jillian Reilly, author of Ten Permissions: How to Stop Waiting and Start Living, to talk about why so many of us can't make the smallest choices for ourselves, and what that says about the bigger life we're (not) living.

We dig into:

• Why approval-seeking starts at lunch and ends with your whole identity
• The terror of wanting something no one else validates
• How to build choice-making muscles before you blow up your life
• Why pleasure isn't selfish (and might be the most strategic thing you can practice)
• What happens when the old rules stop working, and there's no new manual

This conversation is for the overthinkers, the people-pleasers, the ones who've spent decades being "good" and are now sitting in the rubble of what that actually got them.



About Jillian Reilly

Jillian Reilly is a founder, author, and keynote speaker. Having spent her 30-year career working in social, organisational, and individual change across Africa, Asia, and Central Europe, Jillian’s focus is on helping people unlock their ability to navigate change and accelerate growth and learning. Jillian’s book, The Ten Permissions, guides readers in permitting themselves to update how they operate in the 21st century and design lives that fully leverage the possibilities of this disruptive world. Jillian is a TEDX speaker and podcast host who has been published on international affairs in the Washington Post, Newsweek and the LA Times.

Find Jillian

• Website: tenpermissions.com

Send me a DM

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Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change.

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The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me!

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There's a particular moment many of us know well — when everything feels like too much. Not dramatically, but quietly, heavily, relentlessly. You're still functioning, still showing up, but inside, something is fraying. And the most painful part? The story you tell yourself about it: I should be able to handle this.

In this episode, we explore why overwhelm isn't a personal failure — it's a predictable outcome when multiple vulnerabilities align. Using insights from the Swiss Cheese Model and Paul Gilbert's three emotional systems, we unpack why your nervous system can't "just cope" when recovery is structurally unavailable.

This isn't about becoming stronger. It's about understanding why one small change can still matter — even when everything feels impossible.

We'll explore:

• Why overwhelm is rarely about one thing — it's an accumulation of pressures that align
• How the Swiss Cheese Model explains why burnout happens when recovery becomes impossible
• The three emotional systems (Threat, Drive, and Soothing) and why modern life keeps two constantly activated
• Why your nervous system needs recovery cycles, not just more willpower
• How one small change can close one vulnerability — and why that matters
• Why resistance to small changes is often a sign of how depleted you are

Send me a DM

_____________________________________________________________________

Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change.

💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION

• Follow on Instagram
• Follow on TikTok
• Follow on Threads

🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL
The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me!

👉 Pull Your Free Card

⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?
If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.

Pause for a breath you didn't know you were holding.

This soft landing is for the woman who's been holding it together so well that no one thinks to ask if she's okay.

This week's affirmation:
"The strategies, steps, decisions that got me here served their purpose — I release them with grace."

You don't have to carry what no longer fits. You don't have to make letting go mean you failed.

What got you here won't always get you where you're going. And that's okay.

This weekend, ask yourself: What am I holding onto simply because it once worked?

Thank it. And let it go.

New Soft Landings every Friday. Save this. Share it. Come back to it when you need the reminder. 🤍

About Soft Landings:
Every Friday on The Scenic Route, one grounded affirmation to help you rest, reset, and remember who you are.

Send me a DM

_____________________________________________________________________

Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change.

💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION

• Follow on Instagram
• Follow on TikTok
• Follow on Threads

🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL
The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me!

👉 Pull Your Free Card

⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?
If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.