It’s time to remove the unnecessary risks. Bubble wrap him up, put him in cotton wool and cryogenically freeze him for a week and a half if we must! Time to Restump Podcast the purple proceedings at the Cockburn quarry.

What can we really take out of the practise match against the Adelaide Crows last Saturday other than cases of third-degree windburn? It was above the 2025 vanilla-ish preseason performance, but it understandably contained some going-through-the-motions as well. A solid conditioner?

We’re on countdown to round one and all eyes and focus are on the health of the Freo fleet, especially the defensive unit. While Luke Ryan may need a shoulder holder and a few more miles in the aging legs, we’re on cattle watch with Coxy and the Captain as they deal with their calves.

The midfield depth is something to behold. Hayden Young has been placed into protective custody and they’re fine-tuning Jackson’s juggling act. With Murphy Reid’s seemingly absurd growth, has Matty Johnson and Neil Erasmus been cut in front of in the queue to more midfield minutes?

Is everything Kool and the Gang with the Disco? No O’Driscoll mentions, whispers or even grapevine chatter! Do we need to organise a search party? How’s he trekking… anyone, anyone… Bueller?

Mason Cox hasn’t put a foot wrong since arriving at the club apparently and he was good against Lachlan McAndrew last Saturday, which somehow sparked potential best 23 conversations. He’s a great pick up for us for specific reasons, but has the preseason distorted his perceived valuation? He’s 35 years of age and he spent 10 years at Collingwood averaging 14 games a season.

He can tap, he can yap, he can fill a gap and wears a premiership cap! He’s the ideal insurance policy and a very good get considering the uncertainty cloud over Sean Darcy, but surely, we’re not entertaining the prospect of trying to teach an old American dog new tricks?

Jojo is going all out campaigning to have ACDC’s TNT reinstated as the post goal celebratory song, but could we go one better and install Body Count’s, “There Goes The Neighbourhood.”

Speaking of Neighbourhoods, after whatever that display was on Sunday, the West Cost Eagles and their fans are in Liquorice All Sorts of grief! And when that is the case, we show concern and compassion, reach across the aisle and try to pick them up with a supportive Neighbourhood Watch episode.

It’s only a week and a half until we get underway in round one. Not going to lie, it’s a little concerning that the frequency of taking a nervous wiz has increased already! There is more pressure this year and the expectations are understandably off the chart. Rightly or wrongly, it feels such a consequential season.

It is often said the best way to deal with stress is to talk it out through incessant nonsensical rambling! And wouldn’t you know it, that’s our specialty! So, forget your supplements and essential oils, your calming tools, weighted blankets and acupressure mats and just come along for the chat.

Actually… maybe bring along a pair of those noise cancelling headphones.

Send a text

Support the show

Nothing wrong with exploring, experimenting and pinch hitting, but highest and best use is always the most productive policy. Time to Restump Podcast all the latest goings on at Cockburn central.

Other than getting some miles in the legs, a preseason blowout and learning the Freo Dockers don’t believe in open borders, there wasn’t too much to take away from the kick to kick at Victor Kalis Saturday morning.

However, there was a conspicuous emphasis on using the Cockburn corridor. The instruction obviously was to move it down the middle at all costs, something you imagine we’re attempting to take into the season proper, albeit with a bit more selectiveness and caution.

Was the state of origin as exciting a prospect as we’re seemingly made or told to believe? It was a good spectacle but from a meaningful and emotional investment perspective, it felt more in the range of well below a home and away game and marginally above an exhibition match.

Are we really pushing on with the intention of having Luke Jackson play substantial midfield minutes? Surely his highest and best use supersedes the experiments? And as we’re not discarding another Darcy dash to Doha, Jackson’s ruck fate may well be sealed.

Luke Ryan seems to be a little off the pace at the moment which is a tad concerning, especially as the responsibility for our success this year feels like it relies on the fitness of him, Alex Pearce and Brennan Cox. Oscar aside, the lack of tall defender depth does make us a little nervous.

But all fit and available, do we have the cattle this year to go all the way? Or are we a Chad Warner away from as finished a product as you can be?

Jojo has welcomed a few listeners to his Mount Hawthorn bar which he describes as a “relaxed, light driven, open atmosphere” so we’ll get an update there. But on more important matters the Chief wants a ruling from the self-appointed booing gatekeeper, Gerard Whatley, regarding Lachie Neale.

We’re getting close to the siren to start the season! Its that time of year where the nerves are starting to creep in, they’re duelling with the excitement that is building all while trying to stave off cautious optimism. It’s the annual mixed emotional melting pot!

All that in deeper discussion and a shedload more unenlightening nonsense that could well prove detrimental to your cognitive well-being. But hey, wee all take refuge in the concussion protocols, should they be required. So, suit up, forget looking before you leap and just dive head first into an hour of inevitable traumatic brain injury generated listening.

Send a text

Support the show

If at first you don’t succeed, pivot, and destroy all the existing evidence of your attempt. We landed a tad wide of the Strategic Plan mark but it was a learning experience. We learnt not to set the bar so unrealistically high! Time to get 2026 underway and Restump Podcast the views and news in purple shoes.

The Strategic Plan is out and the 2030 Game Plan is in. We’ve rewired, replumbed, reset and restumped largely with all the same elements in the same positions. Is that a lack of accountability or an admission the bar was just mistakenly and unnecessarily set too high? Either way you don’t disrupt positive trajectory.

There has been plenty of talk about Mason Cox since his arrival. He is a handy addition but do we really believe he will be in the regular fully fit starting line up? Do we really expect anything beyond the insurance policy from the near on 35-year-old?

Did we miss an opportunity to hand the captaincy baton over to Andy Brayshaw or Caleb Serong? Alex Pearce will do the job but with the end of the ‘strategic plan’ era and moving into this ‘2030 Game Plan’ period, maybe a fresh captaincy start might have been in order? Again, though is it a case of not disrupting positive trajectory?

We’ll take a look at the recruits and reluctantly touch on the Lachie Neale saga in relation to Freo. Are we revved up for state of origin or are we just praying for our players to get through unscathed?

First pod of the year and unfortunately the Chief is already indulging in hysterical outrage, ranting about some inconsequential nonsense.

And with his new thirst-quenching establishment now up and running, we’ll get the update from Barman Jojo about what’s doing there.

It’s been a while between our purple passionfruit podcast drinks but the pre-season is just starting to gather some pace. So, why not go over the off-season developments, look at the foreseeable freo forecast and add some unnecessary purple noise pollution to the mix.

We’ve given everyone’s ears a well-earned and extended rest to recover, but sadly all good things come to an end. We apologise for the subsiding of the serenity of silence, but we’re resurrecting the ridiculous rigmarole.

For those whose listening standards are lower than our premiership count, by all means, join us for another year, starting now.

Send us a text

Support the show