The Power of Financial Therapy: Understanding Your Relationship with Money with Ashley Quamme

Hey everyone, it’s Jim Grace, your host, and I’m excited to welcome you back to the Modern Financial Wellness podcast. In today’s episode, we’re doing something a little different—instead of our usual deep dive into a specific financial topic or professional’s life story, we’re making a big announcement: Modern Financial Wellness is officially not just a podcast anymore, but now a flat-fee financial planning firm! It’s a milestone for both me personally and for all of you who want approachable, comprehensive, and emotionally intelligent financial guidance.

Joining me is my friend and longtime collaborator, Ashley Quamme. If you’ve listened to past episodes, you may have heard me introduce Ashley as a financial therapist. Today, I’m thrilled to share that Ashley is stepping into the role of our outsourced Chief Behavioral Officer—an integral new resource in our practice, bringing decades of experience in marriage and family therapy and helping connect emotional and behavioral insights with financial planning.

We started with the exciting news about the firm and transitioned into Ashley’s journey from practicing marriage and family therapy to focusing primarily on financial therapy—an emerging field that's still relatively unknown but critically important. Ashley broke down what financial therapy actually is, how it differs from traditional mental health therapy, and what it means to have a behavioral specialist on your financial team. We also got practical, talking through how couples (including both Ashley and myself) do annual planning “life meetings,” reflecting not just on finances but overall values, family stages, and priorities. We closed out with a discussion about how to approach New Year’s resolutions, or better yet, use temporal landmarks (like the start of the year, birthdays, or school semesters) to set meaningful, realistic goals and intentions for the year ahead.

5 Key Takeaways from This Conversation:

1. Financial Therapy Bridges the Emotional Gap
2. Most people aren’t aware that financial therapy exists, but it’s all about understanding why you think, feel, and behave around money the way you do. It’s less about “fixing the numbers,” and more about uncovering mindsets, beliefs, and patterns that shape financial decision-making.
3. Financial Planning Is NOT Financial Therapy
4. There is a clear line between what we offer as financial planners and what Ashley would do as a clinical therapist. Our work focuses on understanding and coaching financial behaviors, not treating diagnoses or healing past trauma. Sometimes, recognizing when someone would benefit from clinical support is vital—and Ashley helps triage and connect clients to those resources when needed.
5. Annual "Life Meetings" Make a Difference
6. Ashley and her husband, as well as my wife and I, both hold yearly planning sessions to look not just at finances, but at vacations, professional goals, time management, and even the developmental stages of our children. Pen-to-paper planning and revisiting these notes is a powerful tool in clarifying priorities and aligning as a couple or family.
7. Use Temporal Landmarks to Refresh Goals
8. New Year’s isn’t the only time for a “fresh start.” Consider using other meaningful dates—birthdays,...