Pat is a little self conscious about how some shirts are fitting, and his wife does nothing to help ease his fears. Plus, he tries to work through a landscaping dilemma with Producer James, describes how he gets in his car every morning to avoid a carjacking, and discusses what his life has been like without Twitter.

Pat is completely blown away by how many politicians and rock stars are visiting Kyiv during the middle of a war. Plus, he is very angry over the finale of “Ozark,” proposes fines for old guys who insist on having children, and ponders if OnlyFans makes up for how terrible women are treated in our society.

Pat recaps a wild weekend of shows, including one where he performed with a crucified Jesus hanging directly over him. Plus, he cannot believe how many colleges kids apply to now, discusses the oldest person in the world dying, which leads to another wacky theory from Producer James, and they honor the most dedicated climate activist the world has ever seen.

Pat examines the Elon Musk-Twitter situation, and cannot fathom a Twitter with more freedom of speech. Plus, he shares the story of the first time he got a full body massage, imagines what the Bezos-Kardashian-Davidson double date was like, and in light of a Hollywood divorce, wonders what single life would look like if Amy ever got sick of him.