This is the most listened to segment of EP136: How to Have a Threesome.

To listen to the rest of the episode that includes HOW to communicate to your partner during a threesome, click the link below:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5d0pUBCL1Fkv7CQVwu15U4?si=knry02cqRNOTmHlpiXuK8g

Wanna have a threesome? You're not alone!

A threesome is the most sought after sexual experience, and almost 20% of men have had one!

In today's episode I discuss how to find a 3rd through online platforms and the importance of setting boundaries and intentions.

I share my personal experiences, advising on safe sex practices and the significance of aftercare.

My insights aim to create a respectful and safe environment for all participants, ensuring a positive and consensual experience.

0:00 Intro

Alignment with Your Partner (00:01:14)

Discussing the importance of finding alignment with your partner and understanding the dynamics for a threesome.

Advertising Your Intentions (00:03:17)

Exploring the ways to advertise your intentions for a threesome, including online groups and dating apps.

Pre-Threesome Communication (00:06:19)

Emphasizing the importance of clear communication and setting intentions before engaging in a threesome.

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In this episode of The Open Bedroom Podcast, I explore how neurodiversity—specifically ADHD and autism—affect relationships, intimacy, and daily life. I’m joined by Seb, who has ADHD and two decades of experience supporting neurodivergent individuals, and his neurotypical wife, Dr. Alison Ash. Together, we discuss communication strategies, managing executive function stress, sensory sensitivities, and the importance of mutual understanding. Seb and Dr. Aly share practical tools for navigating challenges, fostering emotional connection, and creating fulfilling partnerships that honor both neurodivergent and neurotypical needs.

Dr. Alison Ash, aka Dr. Aly, is a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, she has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering intimate experiences.

Sebastian aka Seb is a certified TurnON.love sex and intimacy coach and educator. Seb also has two decades of experience of working with neurodivergent folks, and specializes in supporting them and their partners to have fulfilling intimacy.

Dr. Aly and Seb design workshops, courses, and retreats and offer individuals and couples coaching to give others the tools to be able to cultivate and sustain nourishing emotional and sexual intimacy. They invite you to TurnON pleasure, intimacy and love at www.TurnON.love

Chapter 2: Personal Journeys & Neurodiversity Expertise (00:02:04)

Saib shares his background working with neurodiverse individuals and his personal experience with ADHD; Dr. Aly discusses her neurotypical but highly sensitive background.

Chapter 3: Understanding Neurodiversity—Definitions & Dynamics (00:05:02)

The group explores the definitions of neurotypical and neurodivergent, societal expectations, and the importance of recognizing both strengths and challenges.

Chapter 4: Prevalence, Diagnosis, and Self-Identification (00:08:38)

Saib discusses statistics on neurodivergence, generational differences, and how to recognize signs of being neurodivergent.

Chapter 5: Empowerment Through Diagnosis & Community (00:12:50)

Dr. Aly and Seb highlight the benefits of diagnosis or self-identification, including empowerment and finding community.

Chapter 6: ADHD & Autism—Traits, Gender Differences, and Masking (00:14:13)

Seb explains ADHD types, autism as a spectrum, gender differences in presentation, and the concept of masking neurodivergent traits.

Chapter 7: Neurodiversity in Relationships—Challenges & Tools (00:22:35)

Discussion shifts to how neurodivergence shows up in relationships, managing executive function, and practical tools like to-do lists and shared calendars.

Chapter 8: Communication, Collaboration, and Emotional Health (00:35:26)

Dr. Aly discusses supportive communication, positive reinforcement, collaborative problem-solving, and handling difficult conversations in neurodiverse partnerships.

Chapter 9: Intimacy, Sensory Needs, and Sexual Connection (00:54:28)

Exploring how ADHD and autism impact sexual intimacy, including sensory sensitivities, predictability, and tools for supporting neurodivergent partners.

Dr. Aly and Sebastian will be teaching on Zoom

Neurodiverse Relating & Executive Function on March 3rd

Neurodiverse Love & Emotional Intimacy on March 10th

Neurodiverse Pleasure & Sexual Intimacy on March 24th

Folks can access these live virtual courses at www.TurnON.love/events

These workshops are also available as an on-demand rental, offering the same material anytime, at www.TurnON.love/workshops

For info on 1:1, couples, and ENM Intimacy coaching with Dr. Aly and Sebastian can be found at www.TurnON.love/coaching

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Today I'm sharing my step-by-step guide for creating a sexy, intentional Valentine’s Day or sexy night at home. I explain the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and offer practical tips to build anticipation throughout the day—starting with bedtime rituals, flirty texts, and sexy underwear. I suggest using dinner as foreplay with finger-friendly foods, then transitioning to the bedroom with sensual activities like oil massages, wax play, and sex toys. I emphasize connection, communication, and making intimacy fun and pressure-free for couples.

Understanding Desire: Spontaneous vs. Responsive (00:01:23)

Explains the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and why understanding this matters for couples.

Intentional Desire-Building: The Three-Part Plan (00:02:55)

Jen outlines her three-part plan for building desire from morning to night.

Part 1: Morning Desire & Setting the Tone (00:04:11)

Discusses starting desire the night before, going to bed naked, and setting intentions for the next day.

Sexy Underwear & Turning Yourself On (00:06:13)

Encourages wearing sexy underwear to feel turned on throughout the day, sharing personal anecdotes.

Flirty Connection Throughout the Day (00:09:30)

Suggests sending flirty texts, voice notes, and sharing sexy memories to keep anticipation simmering.

Movement & Hormones: The Power of a Workout (00:10:52)

Recommends working out to boost hormones and get into your body before the evening.

Part 2: Dinner as Sensual Foreplay (00:11:57)

Describes how to make dinner light, sensual, and interactive, using finger foods and food play.

Part 3: Transitioning to the Bedroom (00:13:55)

Emphasizes a slow transition to the bedroom, avoiding rushing, and building on arousal.

Oil Massage & Splash Blankets (00:15:00)

Suggests using oil massages and splash blankets for a sensual, mess-friendly experience.

Warm Wax & Temperature Play (00:16:01)

Introduces warm wax play and experimenting with temperature and textures for added sensation.

Exploring Toys & New Experiences (00:18:02)

Encourages trying new sex toys together to enhance intimacy and break routine.

My favorite Splash Blanket:

https://splashblanket.us/

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