The Neuroscience of Mom Overwhelm: Why You Can’t Just “Calm Down”

If you’ve ever told yourself, “Other moms handle this better than I do,” this episode is for you. So many moms feel overwhelmed—and then feel ashamed for feeling overwhelmed. Like if we were more organized, more disciplined, or better at self-care, we wouldn’t be so on edge all the time. But what if overwhelm isn’t a personal failure? In this episode of the No Guilt Mom Podcast, I’m joined by neuroscience-based coach Emelia Ferreira to talk about what actually happens to a woman’s brain during motherhood—and why telling yourself to “just calm down” doesn’t work. We unpack how motherhood rewires your brain for survival, how overwhelm becomes conditioned over time, and why so many traditional parenting and self-care strategies miss the mark for moms. This conversation is validating, eye-opening, and deeply reassuring—especially if you’ve ever wondered what’s wrong with you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode 1. Why motherhood changes your brain—and why that’s not a bad thing Your brain becomes more specialized and hypervigilant after having a baby. That constant mental load? It’s not a flaw. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do. 2. How overwhelm becomes “normal” for moms Without the community support mothers once had, our brains stay stuck in survival mode—while parenting, working, managing households, and carrying emotional labor. 3. Why overwhelm isn’t a mindset problem You can’t think your way out of something that’s physiological. This is why self-care alone and willpower-based parenting strategies often fall short. 4. The connection between guilt, shame, and mom overwhelm That guilt you feel when you rest or step back? It’s wired into a protective system meant to keep your child safe—not a sign you’re doing motherhood wrong. 5. One small, realistic way to support your mom brain Emelia shares a simple breath-and-body-based practice that helps override overwhelm without adding another thing to your to-do lis Resources Mentioned Emilia Ferreira’s neuroscience-based guide Learn more about No Guilt Mom Circle—where overwhelmed moms get parenting support that reduces burnout, not adds to it Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices