The Mental Load: A Conversation with Dr. Julie Wayne and Paige Connell

Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Bruce Ross, Christian Sherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

I’m Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands. Sometimes our listeners want more support than a podcast can give, individual or couple support, which I provide as an Accredited Financial Counselor and Fair Play Facilitator. Details can be found at modernhusbands.com.

Today’s episode is the second of a three part series: Empowering Men to Partner or Lead at Home: The Mental Load

Today’s guests are Dr. Julie Wayne and Paige Connell.

Dr. Julie Wayne is professor at Wake Forest University. She is a leading scholar on work-family integration and gender equity. Her research uncovers the structural and psychological barriers to balanced partnerships—and how men can take intentional steps to reduce the mental load on their partners.

Paige Connell is a mental load strategist who equips families with clear tools to divide responsibilities fairly and prevent burnout. Her work, which she shares with hundreds of thousands of her followers on social media, translates the “invisible” into systems couples can use to feel more connected, supported, and balanced.

The mental load isn’t just about who does the chores—it’s about who thinks about them. Today we will talk about making invisible labor visible.

Enjoy the show.

Show Notes

Questions for Paige Connell

00:00 Introduction
01:31 Can you briefly define mental load, cognitive labor, and the consequences of imbalance?
04:42 Your research has uncovered key psychological barriers to sharing the mental load, can you walk us through them?
10:53 Can you share an example where a couple went from burnout to balance?
24:15: How can men step in and shoulder more at home?
32:04 What do your findings suggest are effective ways to invite men into this space meaningfully?
39:23 What tools or frameworks have been most effective for dividing the “invisible work”?
45:50 What are a few simple tricks couples can use to better work together?
49:24 Can you explain the difference between emotional labor and mental labor, and share which is more taxing and why?

Subscribe or follow Modern Husbands on social media!

Newsletter
Facebook
YouTube
LinkedIn
Instagram
Twitter
TikTok
Substack