Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict.

Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you.

In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills:

AWARENESS and EXPRESSION.

The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is:

• Situation
• Feeling
• Want
• Outcome

Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

Our tool defines EQ and gives exercises. Download it here.

“Unlocking Executive Presence Through Emotional Intelligence” Episode 232. The concept explained and tools provided.

Download “The Feeling Word Grid” here.

Ready for an amazing growth experience? Explore Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead course.

Often recommended. Always helpful. Crucial Conversations.

More tools in the ASSERTIVENESS category in the archive.

Episodes with assertiveness tools:

220 - Holding Boundaries

219 - How to Set Boundaries

210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management

86 - Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries

198 - Psychological Safety

Considering coaching? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.

Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Until next time!

Thanks! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team

Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups.

Tools in this episode:

Tone-setting at the opening:

1. Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;
2. Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);
3. Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat.

(#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habit and hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!)

Three facilitation skills:

1. Use learning questions;
2. Redirect; don’t be the hub;
3. Activate your deadpan.

All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself.

Tom’s most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.

Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us!

Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:

Communication Skills

Leading Teams

Episodes with more tools for engagement:

141 - High-Stakes Meetings

253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully

213 - How to Re-engage a Team

34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh

175 - Leading Offsites

143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta

148 - Taming Meetings

Are you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.

Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Until next time!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team

Knowing she’s never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate.

Two ways to deepen workplace relationships:

Matching & Curiosity

4 Ways to Match:

• Match Purpose
• Match Energy
• Match Conversations
• Match Vulnerability

Express Curiosity by Asking Deep Questions

• Make sure your questions are open-ended
• Invite reflection
• Keep the other person talking

Answering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships. Check out our recent episode on that topic.

Deepen relationships at work by listening to Dave Stachowiak’s conversation on Coaching For Leaders with Charles Duhigg about his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.

Recently, Tom joined Dave on Coaching for Leaders to explore How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.

Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.

Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:

Communication Skills

Building Relationships

Managing Yourself

Five episodes that’ll help you get deeper:

Building Empathy

Building Listening

Building Rapport

Influence

The Conflict Conversation

Are you ready to invest in yourself? We offer listeners world-class coaching at an affordable price. Reach out to Tom here.

Transcripts of every episode, including this one, are available for free here.

More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.

Until next time!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership team