The Let Them Theory: New Friends, Old Friends, and No Friends

Friendship in adulthood isn’t what it used to be — and in this conversation, we get into why that’s not always a bad thing. Charles and Dan dig into the myths we carry from childhood about how friends “should” work, and how those expectations crash into reality once proximity, free time, and shared schedules disappear.

We break down Mel Robbins’ “three pillars” of friendship — proximity, timing, and energy — and give our unfiltered takes on which ones actually matter. There’s plenty of pushback on the idea that making friends requires constant effort, plus a lively debate over whether walking up to strangers is brave… or just weird.

Along the way: the “friendship market” nobody talks about, why some relationships naturally run their course, and how to stop taking it personally when they do. If you’ve ever wondered whether to fight for a friendship or let it fade, this episode has opinions.

Support the show