"She got hit so hard with a volleyball, she got sent into the ghost realm."

This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2.

This film has everything: A Pandora’s box hidden in a room full of capes, The most haunted art class ever, And a ghost kiss so terrible, it blows up her headstone. If you love chaotic prom energy, haunted horses, and movies that answer the question “who packed this much evil into one trunk?”—this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Final Destination 3 (2006)

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"You can't breathe through your butthole."

This week’s scariest horror movie is... A Quiet Place Part II. This film has everything: A baby in a Moses basket with a scuba mask, Emily Blunt flooding yet another basement like it’s her post-apocalyptic hobby, And a pirate radio station broadcasting nothing but Bobby Darin. If you love soundproof babies, damp trauma, and end-of-the-world DJs with a flair for the dramatic, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987)

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"Tell me more about the time you used the dildo medicinally.”

This week’s scariest movie is... Smile 2. This movie has everything: A Flatliners-style shock therapy plan that says “trauma, but make it crispy,” proof that Voss Water that might actually be a sinister organization, And a setup for Smile 3 where a stadium full of cursed teenage girls starts the smilepocalypse. If you love movies that fake you out with Pizza Hut metaphors and then kick you RIGHT in the feelings, this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on Smile 2?

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Up Next: A Quiet Place 2 (2020)

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"If your husband comes back from the woods with a virus, just pack a bag and go."

This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Slither. This film has everything: a man so nice they infected him twice, A small-town countdown to deer season, and a "Backter" reveal that will blow your mind. If you love parasitic slugs, small-town chaos, and family values warped by alien hive minds, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Smile 2 (2024)

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"If you want it to be less formal, you’re gonna have to take off the fucks-edo."

This weeks scariest movie is... Night of the Comet. This movie has everything. A retail uprising led by Stockboy Willie, the patron saint of mall trauma, Survivors who were clearly chosen by Zordon for their teenage attitude and excellent hair, and a sexy comet that turns everyone into glittery Himalayan sea salt. If you love post-apocalyptic mall chaos, Power Rangers logic, and sparkly extinction events, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Slither (2006)

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"What if we turn on the death machine that gives us boners?"

This week’s horniest horror movie is... From Beyond. This film has everything: a scientist who accidentally builds a machine that unlocks the horny dimension, a sentient nut sack villain with a brain-dick, and Ken Foree fighting interdimensional monsters… in nothing but a Speedo. If you love cosmic horror, body horror, and movies that make you say, "Wait, does this need more sex or less?", this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Night of the Comet (1984)

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"Climb, girl, climb!"

This weeks scariest movie is.... Night of the Demons. This movie has everything, A funeral home with a terrible backstory, a Spooky Strobe light Burlesque, and a hidden compartment you never saw coming. So grab your boombox, avoid mirrors, and for the love of God—CLIMB, GIRL, CLIMB!

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Up Next: From Beyond (1986)

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"I do declare, your smoked meats are superior."

This weeks Scariest movie is.... Motel Hell. This movie has everything. A motel that may or may not double as a swingers' paradise. A meat-smoking entrepreneur whose meats get way too many sexual compliments. 50 Cent’s lost Halloween album, Rump Scare. A philosophical debate on whether vegans would eat people if they were planted like vegetables. It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Top Chef meets the world’s most unsettling farm-to-table experience. So grab a Slim Jim (or maybe don’t), because it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.

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Up Next: Night of the Demons (1988)

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