The Hidden Weight of Always Holding It Together

Are your expectations a little unrealistic? If you’ve been feeling that pressure to be endlessly composed, endlessly capable, endlessly “fine” — this episode is for you.

We’re talking about the real reason perfectionism shows up (hint: it’s not a personality trait). It’s an old survival strategy your nervous system learned a long time ago… one that might be quietly running your life today.

Inside this episode you’ll hear:

• why your self-criticism spikes when you make a mistake
• how old patterns of people-pleasing and “getting it right” still shape your reactions
• the one question that shows you whether a standard is actually yours — or conditioning
• how perfectionism disconnects you from yourself and your relationships
• what to do in the exact moment you feel the trap door of shame start to open

I also share a real-life story about a mistake I made last week — and how easy it is to fall back into old patterns unless we consciously choose something different.

Perfectionism isn’t about being better.

It’s about feeling safer.

And once you understand that, everything softens.

If this conversation hits close to home…

You’ll love the work we’re doing inside The Bold as Love Collective, my intimate coaching circle for women who want to stop overthinking, stop over-functioning, and start showing up with truth, steadiness, and self-respect — in every relationship they care about.

We start in January, and early registration is now open.

Join us here → [link]

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

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Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.