The Grief of Betrayal: Loss that No One Talks About, with Kris Christiano (Rise Season 2, Episode 5)

Show Notes Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal Season 2

Episode Title: The Grief of Betrayal: Loss that No One Talks About

Healing from sexual betrayal is not something you were meant to do alone. In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is joined again by Kris Christiano, LCSW, CSAT, for an honest and grounding conversation about one of the most misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma recovery: grief.

Together, MaryAnn and Kris explore how grief is not only connected to death, but to the loss of an entire reality—safety, trust, identity, expectations, and the future a betrayed partner believed they were living toward. They discuss why betrayal trauma creates a uniquely destabilizing grief experience, particularly because the loss is non-consensual and often leaves partners feeling disoriented, unsafe, and unable to trust their own perceptions.

This episode also highlights why healing requires connection, not isolation. Betrayed partners often carry their pain silently due to shame, fear, or a desire to protect their spouse’s reputation. MaryAnn and Kris emphasize that grief must be witnessed and validated in order for the nervous system to stabilize and for healing to begin.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, numb, angry, or stuck, this episode offers language, clarity, and hope—reminding listeners that grief can become part of your story, but it does not have to become your identity.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• Why grief is a core component of betrayal trauma recovery

• How grief is not just about death, but about the loss of a familiar life

• The difference between traditional grief and betrayal-related grief

• How betrayal disrupts the nervous system and creates disorientation

• Why grief is not linear (and why that matters for healing)

• The impact of shame, secrecy, and “walking wounded” isolation

• How community and safe connection help regulate emotional overwhelm

• Why grief must be witnessed and validated to heal

• How to begin identifying personal losses after betrayal

• Hope for moving forward without being defined by betrayal

Key Takeaways

• Betrayal grief often includes the loss of identity, future dreams, and safety.

• Many trauma symptoms (anger, anxiety, hypervigilance, numbness) are grief responses.

• Healing happens through support and connection—grief is not meant to be carried alone.

• The goal is not to erase the story, but to integrate it without being consumed by it.

Mentioned in This Episode

• Disenfranchised grief (grief that isn’t socially recognized or supported)

• The importance of validation and witnessing in the healing process

• Neurobiology of grief and how the brain struggles to reorient after betrayal

• The Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14)

Resources

Rise Companion Course: humanintimacy.com, Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal Questions / Contact: [e-mail] (send questions you'd like addressed at the Human Intimacy Conference) Human Intimacy Conference: March 13–14 (Online + recordings available) Use: 30OFF promo code

Upcoming Episodes

MaryAnn and guests will the grief series in upcoming weeks, including:

• Delayed grief

• Attachment patterns and grief

• How to live with grief without losing yourself

If This Episode Helped You…

Please consider sharing this podcast with someone who may be suffering in silence. Healing is hard—but you don’t have to do it alone.