This episode features Kristen Ulmer, a former world-famous extreme skier once celebrated as the "most fearless woman" in her sport. She shares how her perceived fearlessness was actually an unconscious, high-risk "love affair with fear." After retiring, she reflected on what her career taught her, leading her to coach others on how to embrace their fear rather than resist it.

About Kristen Ulmer:

• Former professional extreme skier, named the most fearless woman athlete in North America.
• Spent 12 years as the best woman big-mountain extreme skier, starring in films and pioneering first descents.
• High-performance facilitator and thought leader on fear and anxiety.
• Long-time student of Zen and a voice dialogue facilitator.
• Author of The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead.

Topics:

• From a meek, shy kid to a world-famous extreme danger athlete.
• Her "love affair with fear": addiction to adrenaline and feeling intensely alive.
• The turning point: retiring and realizing she didn't understand fear.
• Fear as a person living in your body: shifting from resistance to relationship.
• What "intimacy with fear" actually feels like in the body.
• Flow states, extreme sports, and why the best danger athletes relate to fear differently.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction to Fear and Kristen Ulmer's Journey
• 03:43 The Relationship Between Fear and Anxiety
• 06:45 From Unconscious to Conscious: Kristen's Athletic Career
• 08:25 The Love Affair with Fear
• 11:24 The Message: Embracing Fear Instead of Conquering It
• 14:05 The Transition to Teaching and Facilitating
• 17:06 Secrets of High-Performance Athletes
• 19:38 Understanding Intimacy with Fear
• 22:31 Resistance vs. Intimacy: The Key to Flow
• 25:02 Practical Advice for Managing Panic and Anxiety
• 28:02 The Nature of Fear and Its Manifestations
• 30:17 Rethinking Mental Health: The War on Fear
• 31:43 Levels of Dealing with Fear: From Resistance to Intimacy
• 36:09 Embracing Fear: The Path to Intimacy
• 39:03 The Role of Trauma in Anxiety Disorders
• 41:09 Zen Influence: Handling Fear in Life and Sports
• 45:16 Choosing to Embrace Fear in Sports and Life
• 52:29 The Control of Thoughts and Positivity
• 53:29 Rethinking Anxiety Management
• 54:51 The Cost of Resistance
• 57:44 The Domino Effect of Fear
• 01:00:09 Intimacy with Emotions
• 01:03:02 Navigating Fear and Control
• 01:04:53 The Spiritual Component of Fear
• 01:13:47 Embracing Fear as a Messenger

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Eric Goodman is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias. He shares his own history with two major phobias (public speaking and flying) he later treated using exposure principles.

We dive into what fear and anxiety really are, why they so often feel irrational, and how we can relate to them more skillfully instead of trying to get rid of them. Instead of chasing “anxiety‑free” promises, we explore how curiosity, humility, and shared stories can help us live well with fear while still moving toward what matters.

If you’re someone who has tried to logic your way out of fear, or who feels like anxiety means you’re broken rather than deeply human, this conversation is for you.

About Dr. Eric Goodman

• Clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias
• Lecturer in the psychology department at California Polytechnic State University (Cal Poly) with a private practice in San Luis Obispo, California
• Author of:
• The Mindful Freak‑Out: A Rescue Manual for Being at Your Best When Life Is at Its Worst
• Your Anxiety Beast and You: A Compassionate Guide for Living in an Increasingly Anxious World
• Social Courage: Coping and Thriving with the Reality of Social Anxiety

Topics

• Eric’s personal journey through public‑speaking fear and a severe flying phobia
• What exposure therapy really is, and why it must be done without safety behaviors
• Safety behaviors vs. compulsions, and how they keep anxiety stuck
• The “big, dopey guard dog” metaphor for anxiety
• Hunter‑gatherer nervous systems in a modern, always‑on world
• Social media, news, and the rise of generalized anxiety
• Existential dread: death anxiety, fear of hell, and spiritual abuse
• Learning to tolerate uncertainty and live alongside fear
• “We hurt where we care”: anxiety around work, creativity, and relationships

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Fear and Anxiety

03:14 Personal Experiences with Fear

08:07 Understanding Phobias and Safety Behaviors

14:53 The Language of the Nervous System

21:24 Modern Anxiety in a Digital World

27:48 Existential Dread and Coping Mechanisms

33:55 Spirituality, Fear, and Healing

36:39 Cultural Messages About Fear

37:31 Understanding Anxiety: A Natural Part of Life

42:45 The Role of Mindfulness in Managing Anxiety

45:06 When Anxiety Becomes Detrimental

48:57 Facing Fears: The Path to Overcoming Anxiety

53:18 The Wisdom of Fear: Navigating Life's Threats

57:22 The Dual Nature of Fear: Protection vs. Paralysis

01:01:18 Reframing Fear: From Pain to Power

01:05:26 Practical Steps for Managing Anxiety

01:07:12 Understanding Anxiety as a Protective Mechanism

01:08:11 Fear: A Companion in Modern Life

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In 4th century Athens, a man was put to death for “corrupting the youth.” What made Socrates so dangerous wasn’t radical sermons or manifestos. It was something much simpler: he asked questions.

He almost never offered his own answers. Instead, he asked the kind of childlike questions that seem innocent at first, then slowly unravel what we think is obvious. The more people tried to defend their beliefs, the more those beliefs slipped through their fingers—until frustration, even rage, bubbled up where certainty used to be.

Socrates wasn’t just threatening people’s status or power. He was threatening their sense of who they were — how they made meaning, justified their choices, and kept their deepest fears at bay. Because when we really start asking questions, we’re pushed into a liminal space: the place of not‑knowing. And as a species, we’re not very comfortable there.

That space can feel like a void. But a void can also be a womb — the birthplace of all possibility. A teacher of mine once said, “I don’t know is God’s true name.” That’s the spirit of this show.

This is The Gadfly Talks, a podcast where we practice that dangerous but innocent curiosity together. Each episode, we set aside easy answers and ask the questions we’re not supposed to ask — about mental health, meaning, power, and what it really means to be human.

By stripping away what we think we know, we move closer to what Taoism calls “the uncarved block”: a state of deconditioning, vulnerability, and authenticity. Maybe, like children wondering at the obvious, we can rediscover our shared humanity — if none of us really knows, maybe we’re all in the same boat after all.

If you’re tired of hot takes and hungry for honest questions, hit follow and join the conversation. Welcome to the podcast where — we think, therefore we ask.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.