It's been a week.

In this episode, my husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser and I sit down to talk about something that's been very alive right now: coping mechanisms in a real, honest, this-is-what-our-nervous-systems-actually-do way.

We talk about what coping mechanisms actually are, why we can't just decide to stop doing them, and why the self-deprecation that comes after — the memes, the jokes, the haha-I-ate-everything — is actually just another coping mechanism sitting on top of the first one.

I share what my own coping has looked like during this war. My husband shares his. We get into soldiers and dissociation and bitachon.

And we close with the idea that during times of intense pressure, the small steps we manage to take — the tiny bits of awareness, the moments of trying — carry exponential weight.

Neurologically and spiritually.
The olive doesn't reveal its light until it's pressed.
This one's for anyone who's been a little hard on themselves lately for how they're coping. Which is probably most of us.

Purim is over. Your nervous system might not know that yet.

The body doesn't reset the moment the seuda ends. It takes time to unwind from noise, from running, from giving, from holding everything together — or from not quite managing to. The activation lingers. The tension stays tucked into places you might not even notice until you slow down enough to feel them.

This week's practice is a somatic tracking exercise — moving through the body with curiosity, resting wherever your attention is drawn, noticing what each part is still holding, and letting it know you're there.

There's a line from the practice I want to offer you before you listen:
"You might feel like you're not doing very much. But you're doing so much for your system."

That's the paradox of this kind of work. Presence — just being with what's there — is not passive. It's how stuck energy begins to move.

What is your body most ready to put down after this week?
Listen here.

We recorded this one fast — "recording in 30 minutes, send your questions" fast.
The questions that came in were honest ones. About the weight of expectations, the mishloach manos pressure, the teenagers you can't control, the joy you're supposed to feel but don't. The life force that feels stifled.

My husband and I sat with all of it.

Before you press play: What's the one thing about Purim you're most bracing yourself for?

Freilichen Purim,
Rena

This practice uses the physical boundary between your body and the surface supporting you as a way to sense into relational boundaries — where you end and another person begins.

When to use this practice:

• Before a conversation where you need to set a boundary
• When you're not sure if you're taking on someone else's emotions
• After listening to "His Reaction Is Not Your Responsibility"
• When you know you need to say no but feel guilty about it
• Anytime you're struggling to distinguish between what's yours and what's theirs

What you'll need:

• 10-15 minutes of quiet
• A comfortable place to sit or lie down
• A boundary situation that has some charge, but isn't your most intense one (around 3/10)

Note: Boundaries aren't meant to control the other person's reaction. They're for you — to know what's yours to hold and what isn't.