The Dark Side of Dating: Inside the ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy?’ Phenomenon

Journalist, radio host and TV presenter Mary Mandefield joins me to unpack one of the most controversial developments in modern dating: the rise of online groups like 'Are We Dating The Same Guy?', and the growing tension between protection, exposure, and unintended harm.

Mary shares what she uncovered while making the Channel 4 documentary 'Red Flags: Are We Dating the Same Guy?', including stories from women who found validation and safety through these communities, and men whose lives were deeply affected after being posted online.

We talk about:

- Why so many women feel forced to protect each other online

- The emotional and psychological cost of being publicly accused

- Whether these groups are community support or digital vigilantism

- Why trust in dating apps and the police has broken down

- How empathy for women’s lived experiences can coexist with concern for innocent men

- And what dating might look like in a future shaped by AI, algorithms and isolation

This is not a conversation about taking sides.

It’s about sitting with discomfort, holding two truths at once, and asking difficult but necessary questions:

What do we do now?

And is it possible to date happily, healthily and safely in 2026?

Follow Mary on Instagram here.

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Interviews that might just change your life. And if not…? You’ll probably enjoy them anyway.

While we're all trying to be better versions of ourselves, this podcast asks: 'what's truly possible?'

Project Possible, hosted by me, Rich Leigh, explores this with incredible guests from the world of business, sport, entertainment and academia.

Between the second and third series, I made the decision to go full-time on this show.

I sold my successful 10 year old PR agency after my youngest brother Jordan took his own life. I realised that I needed to run towards passion, purpose and positive impact, and my dream of this being my career.

Possibilists, pull up a pew.

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