The Curious Pause: Three Questions to Turn Defiance into Cooperation

This episode is for the parent who notices arguments spiral after the first sharp word. I name the moment — when a boundary is tested and both voices rise — then normalise how quickly shame or blame can fuel more resistance. The core idea: a tiny, intentional pause followed by curiosity-based questions changes the conversation's purpose from punishment to joint problem-solving. I teach three simple, age‑adaptable questions (the Safety Check, the Choice Clarifier, and the 'Help Me Understand' probe) with verbatim lines for toddlers, school-age children and teens, plus pacing, tone and body language that keep dignity intact. You’ll get quick examples of when curiosity helps and when it risks sounding like interrogation, two brief rehearsal practices to try tonight, and clear red flags for when a situation needs safety-first steps or specialist support. Close includes a grounding cue, the show signature line and a subscribe CTA so listeners can practise the pause this week.