The Courtroom as the New Arena: How Abusers Manipulate Family Court with Courtney Gilmartin (Bonus Episode 39)

When you separate from an abuser, the abuse doesn’t always end, it often shifts to the courtroom.

In this powerful episode, Dr. Sherrie sits down with Courtney Gilmartin, a Family Court Strategist and certified Trauma-Informed Coach, to expose how toxic individuals manipulate the legal system to continue their patterns of control, power, and psychological abuse.

We dive deep into DARVO: the tactic of Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, and how it plays out in real-time during custody battles, hearings, and false accusations. This isn’t a legal discussion, it is a psychological and strategic one. If you’re a survivor navigating family court, this conversation is a lifeline.

🔍 What You’ll Learn:

🍏 What DARVO looks like in the courtroom

🍏 How toxic exes use false allegations, court manipulation, and smear campaigns to maintain control

🍏 Why staying calm is a strategic power move, not just emotional regulation

🍏The key to beating lies: emotionless, project-manager style documentation

🍏Practical trauma-informed tools to prepare for court, protect your kids, and preserve your peace

🍏How to reclaim agency and stop reacting to every legal threat thrown your way

Courtney Gilmartin is a leading Family Court Strategist, certified Trauma-Informed Coach, and a fierce advocate working to protect domestic abuse survivors and their children through systemic and legislative change. After experiencing a near decade-long custody battle and post-separation abuse, she turned her pain into purpose and founded Monarch Consulting Group. Her unique approach combines over 20 years of operations management in fast-paced tech startups with the critical learnings she identified while navigating the Family Court system. A tireless advocate, she lobbied extensively for New Jersey's coercive control bill, which was codified into law in 2024. After helping countless women, she has become a sought-after expert on how abusers weaponize the family court process and how to combat this abuse.

Her proprietary Monarch Method™ was built to fill a critical gap she identified in her own journey: the need for a sustainable system that empowers survivors by turning their lived experiences into compelling, evidence-based proof. This framework provides the foundation required to shift from a reactive to a proactive strategy, and the strategic advantage required to counter an abuser’s tactics and secure safer, more favorable outcomes in Family Court.

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Episode Sponsor:

Betterhelp

Going to therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. My sponsor BetterHelp makes therapy simple, with 10% off your first month to help you get started:

https://betterhelp.com/drsherrie

BetterHelp, founded in 2013, is the world’s largest online therapy platform, offering accessible, affordable, and personalized mental health care.

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MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

📌 [Expert] Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola - https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

📌 [Book] The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller - https://www.amazon.com/Drama-Gifted-Child-Search-True/dp/0465012612

📌 [Book] Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life (Interpersonal Violence) by Evan Stark - https://www.amazon.com/Coercive-Control-Personal-Interpersonal-Violence/dp/0195384040

📌 [Expert] Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD - https://www.jjfreyd.com/darvo

📌 [Non-profit] New Jersey Protective Moms (NJPM) - https://www.njprotectivemoms.org/

CONNECT WITH COURTNEY:

📌 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/courtney-gilmartin-780058176/

📌 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courtney.gilmartin/

📌 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/courtneye.gilmartin/

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